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Humor

duo-mobile

To increase safety, Princeton installs Duo Mobile on all dorm locks

HUMOR: Since the devices are not able to support cookies, the “Remember me for 90 days” option will not be available, and students will need to sign in with their netID every time.

HUMOR: Since the devices are not able to support cookies, the “Remember me for 90 days” option will not be available, and students will need to sign in with their netID every time.

HUMOR | September 14

frick

200+ future humanities majors enroll in CHM 201 this semester

HUMOR: “I just know that witnessing a world-renowned scientist read the syllabus straight from his slides will set me on the path to an ORFE degree,” said N. Janeer ’26, who will declare Slavic Languages and Literature next semester.

HUMOR: “I just know that witnessing a world-renowned scientist read the syllabus straight from his slides will set me on the path to an ORFE degree,” said N. Janeer ’26, who will declare Slavic Languages and Literature next semester.

HUMOR | September 13

U Store Ramen - Albert Lee.jpeg

Princeton to cover students’ tuition in the form of U-Store credit

HUMOR: With this money to use at the U-Store, the University expects each student to be able to purchase either one short-sleeved shirt, one box of pop-tarts, two Gatorades, or an orange folder that holds three or four pieces of paper.

HUMOR: With this money to use at the U-Store, the University expects each student to be able to purchase either one short-sleeved shirt, one box of pop-tarts, two Gatorades, or an orange folder that holds three or four pieces of paper.

HUMOR | September 8

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‘I’m right here’: Jack Quaid’s ego shattered as students obsess over A-list ‘Oppenheimer’ co-stars

SATIRE: “Excuse me,” one sophomore asked Quaid, believing him to be a production assistant. “Could you take a photo of me and Matt Damon?”

SATIRE: “Excuse me,” one sophomore asked Quaid, believing him to be a production assistant. “Could you take a photo of me and Matt Damon?”

HUMOR | April 19

Thesis Binding

‘I wrote a book!’ says senior who cobbled together 20ish-page thesis in three days

SATIRE: A closer investigation from The Daily PrintsAnything reveals that the essay was in fact only 19 pages in length before Ell added in a 1.5 inch left margin and seven page-long figures.

SATIRE: A closer investigation from The Daily PrintsAnything reveals that the essay was in fact only 19 pages in length before Ell added in a 1.5 inch left margin and seven page-long figures.

HUMOR | April 18

admin construction.jpeg

History majors push Princeton to boycott the construction industry

SATIRE: PSH will be hosting a critical screening of the animated series “Bob the Builder” in McCosh 50 tomorrow to garner support for their movement. Following the discussion of how Bob perpetuates pro-construction ideals, PSH members will convene at Poe Field and shout at the new residential colleges.

SATIRE: PSH will be hosting a critical screening of the animated series “Bob the Builder” in McCosh 50 tomorrow to garner support for their movement. Following the discussion of how Bob perpetuates pro-construction ideals, PSH members will convene at Poe Field and shout at the new residential colleges.

HUMOR | April 10

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I am the staffer stuck in 48 University Place. Please help.

SATIRE: Once, I believed, as we all did, in the power of satire to enact change. No more. This is the end. Now I know that the only power of satire is to provoke more satire, more satire which nobody reads . . . 

SATIRE: Once, I believed, as we all did, in the power of satire to enact change. No more. This is the end. Now I know that the only power of satire is to provoke more satire, more satire which nobody reads . . . 

HUMOR | April 5