How can the Daily PrintsAnything uphold its reputation for sharp-witted and culturally-relevant satire while censoring its writers’ best ideas? Every day, we move one step closer to a draconic surveillance state that stifles important conversations.
How can the Daily PrintsAnything uphold its reputation for sharp-witted and culturally-relevant satire while censoring its writers’ best ideas? Every day, we move one step closer to a draconic surveillance state that stifles important conversations.
The American Mathematical Society recognize Dan Khum ’24 and Henry Gussler ’24 for their new algorithm in algebraic topology.
The American Mathematical Society recognize Dan Khum ’24 and Henry Gussler ’24 for their new algorithm in algebraic topology.
“We store gallons of pee in the basement to throw on people at parties, as you know,” said Cloister president Serena Stream ’24. “People have been stealing from our pee reserves for the past year, and we’ve been burning through our cash just trying to stay stocked.”
“We store gallons of pee in the basement to throw on people at parties, as you know,” said Cloister president Serena Stream ’24. “People have been stealing from our pee reserves for the past year, and we’ve been burning through our cash just trying to stay stocked.”
With athletes disproportionately represented among campus scooter riders, teams are experimenting with new ways to get to and from practice. Already, many teams have opted to make the switch to razor scooters.
With athletes disproportionately represented among campus scooter riders, teams are experimenting with new ways to get to and from practice. Already, many teams have opted to make the switch to razor scooters.
“This is virtually unheard of,” said Professor Martin Lockhead, chair of the MAE department. “Most MAE graduates become servants of the lucrative military-industrial complex or sell out to consulting and go to hell. Ray is a truly brave soul to sacrifice his income to uphold his morals.”
“This is virtually unheard of,” said Professor Martin Lockhead, chair of the MAE department. “Most MAE graduates become servants of the lucrative military-industrial complex or sell out to consulting and go to hell. Ray is a truly brave soul to sacrifice his income to uphold his morals.”
“It’s all so unfair. As an English major, I had my whole 401(k) riding on that lawsuit,” Richard Papen ’26 said. “If not for the cars hitting 50 mph on Washington Road, I would have to switch to economics.”
“It’s all so unfair. As an English major, I had my whole 401(k) riding on that lawsuit,” Richard Papen ’26 said. “If not for the cars hitting 50 mph on Washington Road, I would have to switch to economics.”
“We knew this year would have to be different. We couldn’t just have cutesy little events – prospective members need to show some serious commitment to the club if they want to get in,” Charter president Greg Marmalard ’25 said.
“We knew this year would have to be different. We couldn’t just have cutesy little events – prospective members need to show some serious commitment to the club if they want to get in,” said Charter president Greg Marmalard ’25.
The top two finalists from each state and country were invited to New Jersey last weekend to participate in a campus-wide Hunger Games to prepare them for the eating club assassin games they may be playing in the future if they emerge successful.
The top two finalists from each state and country were invited to New Jersey last weekend to participate in a campus-wide Hunger Games to prepare them for the eating club assassin games they may be playing in the future if they emerge successful.
DeLoach’s course, “Incredibly Unhelpful Introduction to Essential Topic in Your Major,” is currently rated a 1.73 out of 5 on princetoncourses.com.
DeLoach’s course, “Incredibly Unhelpful Introduction to Essential Topic in Your Major,” is currently rated a 1.73 out of 5 on princetoncourses.com.
“When I first saw the union contract, I thought we were being hired as electrical engineers,” said Angelica Crumbstop, one of the rats currently employed by the University. According to the job listing on Indeed, the actual job title is “Electric Engine.”
“When I first saw the union contract, I thought we were being hired as electrical engineers,” said Angelica Crumbstop, one of the rats currently employed by the University. According to the job listing on Indeed, the actual job title is “Electric Engine”.
Winter at Princeton got you feeling like a Katy Perry song? You’re hot then you’re cold? Then here are five fun ways to manage the temperature in your dorm this holiday season.
Winter at Princeton got you feeling like a Katy Perry song? You’re hot then you’re cold? Here are five fun ways to manage the temperature in your dorm this holiday season.
Princeton spokesperson Abby Whelan praised the resolution, pledging that the University’s top priority is “ensuring students receive a quality education free of literary torture.”
Princeton spokesperson Abby Whelan praised the resolution, pledging that the University’s top priority is “ensuring students receive a quality education free of literary torture.”
We decided to launch a full scale investigation into the issue. Headed by Cheryl Locke ’24, director of the Secret Team of Uninvestigated Princetonian Issues of Danger (STUPID), the team all submitted dorm repair requests under pseudonyms in order to find out just how much Housing Services really knows.
We decided to launch a full scale investigation into the issue. Headed by Cheryl Locke ’24, director of the Secret Team of Uninvestigated Princetonian Issues of Danger (S.T.U.P.I.D), the team all submitted dorm repair requests under pseudonyms in order to find out just how much Housing Services really knows.
According to inspection reports, “Everything seemed normal, except the head cook kept jerking around back and forth in the kitchen. It didn’t seem like he knew where he was going or what he was doing.” The report continues, “Finally, as we were about to leave, [the cook] stood in front of a wall-mounted lamp, and we saw the silhouette of a rat underneath his chef’s hat.”
According to inspection reports, “Everything seemed normal, except the head cook kept jerking around back and forth in the kitchen. It didn’t seem like he knew where he was going or what he was doing.” The report continues, “Finally, as we were about to leave, [the cook] stood in front of a wall-mounted lamp, and we saw the silhouette of a rat underneath his chef’s hat.”
After Princeton football’s 36–28 loss to Yale on Saturday, while Princeton students mourned the lost opportunity for a traditional celebratory bonfire, the local beaver population were excited to receive the massive pile of wood purchased for the fire.
After Princeton football’s 36–28 loss to Yale on Saturday, while Princeton students mourned the lost opportunity for a traditional celebratory bonfire, the local beaver population were excited to receive the massive pile of wood purchased for the fire.