Newly-admitted students traveling to tour Harvard’s campus this week were instead put on buses and sent to nearby Tufts.
Newly-admitted students traveling to tour Harvard’s campus this week were instead put on buses and sent to nearby Tufts.
Newly-admitted students traveling to tour Harvard’s campus this week were instead put on buses and sent to nearby Tufts.
Newly-admitted students traveling to tour Harvard’s campus this week were instead put on buses and sent to nearby Tufts.
“Our hero, who has been identified as Arthur Lewis-Library ’25, was described in the TigerAlert as a “roughly 6 foot tall, student-aged, athletic male with so much confidence and so little rationality.”
“Our hero, who has been identified as Arthur Lewis-Library ’25, was described in the TigerAlert as a “roughly 6 foot tall, student-aged, athletic male with so much confidence and so little rationality.”
How can the Daily PrintsAnything uphold its reputation for sharp-witted and culturally-relevant satire while censoring its writers’ best ideas? Every day, we move one step closer to a draconic surveillance state that stifles important conversations.
Thankfully, University Housing has recently implemented a program to eliminate the embarrassment of being caught half-naked during a fire inspection. Fire Safety will be patrolling the hallways of student dormitories blindfolded and performing inspections by touch in the hopes that students will be comforted by the fact that they won’t be seen naked.
Thankfully, University Housing has recently implemented a program to eliminate the embarrassment of being caught half-naked during a fire inspection. Fire Safety will be patrolling the hallways of student dormitories blindfolded and performing inspections by touch in the hopes that students will be comforted by the fact that they won’t be seen naked.
“I was pooping in the bathroom and they came in and began belting ‘Mr. Brightside’ at the stall door,” said one senior, who wished to remain anonymous. “The timing was absolutely terrible, and the soloist was pretty pitchy.”
“I was pooping in the bathroom and they came in and began belting ‘Mr. Brightside’ at the stall door,” said one senior, who wished to remain anonymous. “The timing was absolutely terrible, and the soloist was pretty pitchy.”
“It’s actually offensive how mid this man is,” says Helen Koshuta ’26 about the medium-ugly white guy featured next to her overjoyed-looking best friend on her Instagram feed.
“It’s actually offensive how mid this man is,” says Helen Koshuta ’26 about the medium-ugly white guy featured next to her overjoyed-looking best friend on her Instagram feed.
Yeh College, who sent their Yeti mascot as the single competitor, won the second phase by a landslide.
Yeh College, who sent their Yeti mascot as the single competitor, won the second phase by a landslide.
As Ryder lay dazed on the ground, the University President swiftly brought down his sledgehammer on Ryder’s kneecaps.
As Ryder lay dazed on the ground, the University President swiftly brought down his sledgehammer on Ryder’s kneecaps.
The American Mathematical Society recognize Dan Khum ’24 and Henry Gussler ’24 for their new algorithm in algebraic topology.
The American Mathematical Society recognize Dan Khum ’24 and Henry Gussler ’24 for their new algorithm in algebraic topology.
“We store gallons of pee in the basement to throw on people at parties, as you know,” said Cloister president Serena Stream ’24. “People have been stealing from our pee reserves for the past year, and we’ve been burning through our cash just trying to stay stocked.”
“We store gallons of pee in the basement to throw on people at parties, as you know,” said Cloister president Serena Stream ’24. “People have been stealing from our pee reserves for the past year, and we’ve been burning through our cash just trying to stay stocked.”
With athletes disproportionately represented among campus scooter riders, teams are experimenting with new ways to get to and from practice. Already, many teams have opted to make the switch to razor scooters.
With athletes disproportionately represented among campus scooter riders, teams are experimenting with new ways to get to and from practice. Already, many teams have opted to make the switch to razor scooters.
“This is virtually unheard of,” said Professor Martin Lockhead, chair of the MAE department. “Most MAE graduates become servants of the lucrative military-industrial complex or sell out to consulting and go to hell. Ray is a truly brave soul to sacrifice his income to uphold his morals.”
“This is virtually unheard of,” said Professor Martin Lockhead, chair of the MAE department. “Most MAE graduates become servants of the lucrative military-industrial complex or sell out to consulting and go to hell. Ray is a truly brave soul to sacrifice his income to uphold his morals.”
“It’s all so unfair. As an English major, I had my whole 401(k) riding on that lawsuit,” Richard Papen ’26 said. “If not for the cars hitting 50 mph on Washington Road, I would have to switch to economics.”
“It’s all so unfair. As an English major, I had my whole 401(k) riding on that lawsuit,” Richard Papen ’26 said. “If not for the cars hitting 50 mph on Washington Road, I would have to switch to economics.”
“We knew this year would have to be different. We couldn’t just have cutesy little events – prospective members need to show some serious commitment to the club if they want to get in,” Charter president Greg Marmalard ’25 said.
“We knew this year would have to be different. We couldn’t just have cutesy little events – prospective members need to show some serious commitment to the club if they want to get in,” said Charter president Greg Marmalard ’25.
The top two finalists from each state and country were invited to New Jersey last weekend to participate in a campus-wide Hunger Games to prepare them for the eating club assassin games they may be playing in the future if they emerge successful.
The top two finalists from each state and country were invited to New Jersey last weekend to participate in a campus-wide Hunger Games to prepare them for the eating club assassin games they may be playing in the future if they emerge successful.