Wrestler can’t draw room, already ate all crayons

The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.

Many students have criticized the University’s new room draw process, characterizing it as an unnecessary change to a functional system. 

One of the students most confused by this year’s room draw was eighth-year wrestler Skid Brutus. When asked about his experience, the student-athlete responded, “Crayons tasty, but no more. Room no draw?” 

When a Daily PrintsAnything reporter pointed out the mostly-intact crayon stuffed up the wrestler’s nose, Skid removed the writing implement, analyzed it, and promptly stuffed it into his mouth. Chewing vigorously, he thanked the reporter for his keen eyes:

“Me no forget you, little man. Me can fix shape of your lumpy head.”

Nate Voss ’29 is an assistant Humor editor who actually quite likes the current shape of his head. He can be reached at nv5141[at]princeton.edu.