On Saturday afternoon, HackPrinceton completed the mission it has pursued for 15 years: It hacked Princeton.
HackPrinceton President Syber A. Tack ’29 claimed responsibility for the attack, stating that “HackPrinceton is proud to have succeeded in its mission, which we have clearly not been shy about, as we put it in the name of our organization.”
Three sources with knowledge on the matter told The Daily PrintsAnything that HackPrinceton has received $40,500 in Undergraduate Student Government Projects Board funding since its inception in 2010. Shockingly, $40,497 went to purchasing boba from Kung Fu Tea. (The final three dollars appear to have been given as a political contribution during the 2016 election to Russia’s Internet Research Agency.)
After the HackPrinceton hackers learned of their success, they immediately disbanded and reformed as IdentityTheftPrinceton. This new organization promptly began to “call, text, and email” students “asking for sensitive information such as Social Security numbers, passwords, or bank information.” Due to their team consisting of three overworked first-years, IdentifyTheftPrinceton was unable to acquire any real information through their hack.
IdentityTheftPrinceton received Office of the Dean of Undergraduate Students (ODUS) approval Sunday morning, with Student Group Recognition Committee Chair Ska Mer ’28 giving the organization the official nod within two minutes of the application’s acceptance. ODUS touted it as “a new record for expediency in the approval of undergraduate organizations.”
When asked how HackPrinceton managed to accomplish a once-lofty goal after 15 years of trying, Tack told the ‘Prints’ that they “just asked Chat to provide [them] with a list of the names, email addresses, telephone numbers, and addresses of all 5,826 Princeton University students, and it immediately obliged.”
People other than the University’s undergraduate students had information compromised by the attack. “Did you know that the President of PRINCO lives inside an oil well in Glasscock County, Texas?” Tack said. “It really seems like the University should cut ties with that guy.”
So far, Tack said IdentityTheftPrinceton has managed to acquire the Social Security numbers of three Princeton students. All three were members of the Class of 2026, and they immediately provided Tack with their information because they thought he might be a University administrator offering research funding for their senior theses.
In a statement to the ‘Prince,’ University spokesperson Jennifer Morrill warned against believing such a ruse: “The University does not provide funding for research projects under any circumstances. We advise students to turn to more reliable sources for research funding, like oil companies.”
The OIT Information Security Office could not be reached for comment in time for publication.
Isaac Barsoum ’28 is an Opinion columnist and contributing Humor writer who has had his identity stolen 43 times. Unless you are asking for his Social Security number, he can be reached at itbarsoum[at]princeton.edu.
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