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Humor

‘Saltburn’ is coming out in time for a family-friendly Thanksgiving

The front of Princeton Garden Theater during the day.

‘Saltburn’ is coming out in time for a family-friendly Thanksgiving

Sophia Varughese and Mya Koffie

“‘Saltburn’ is a darkly luscious portrait of obsession and visceral wanting,” says Entertainment Weekly about this year’s newest psychosexual thriller. With ‘Saltburn’ set to release to the public on Nov. 22, it’s the ideal movie to enjoy as you and your loved ones celebrate all you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving.

“‘Saltburn’ is a darkly luscious portrait of obsession and visceral wanting,” says Entertainment Weekly about this year’s newest psychosexual thriller. With ‘Saltburn’ set to release to the public on Nov. 22, it’s the ideal movie to enjoy as you and your loved ones celebrate all you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving.

HUMOR | 11/13/2023

‘Are these the people we want representing us?’: Freshman Class Council election results in disaster

A photo of columned building during dusk, with an orange glow behind the door's windows.

‘Are these the people we want representing us?’: Freshman Class Council election results in disaster

Natalia Diaz and Arika Hassan

“What Alec did was a violation of not only University law, but moral principle,” Tracy Flick ’27 told the ‘Prints,’ in response to the actions of candidate Alec Shin-Frod ’27. Shin-Frod submitted their expenditure report in Roboto Serif font instead of Comic Sans, as is required by the USG election handbook. This automatically resulted in Shin-Frod’s disqualification from the election. 

“What Alec did was a violation of not only University law, but moral principle,” Tracy Flick ’27 told the ‘Prints,’ in response to the actions of candidate Alec Shin-Frod ’27. Shin-Frod submitted their expenditure report in Roboto Serif font instead of Comic Sans, as is required by the USG election handbook. This automatically resulted in Shin-Frod’s disqualification from the election. 

HUMOR | 11/08/2023

University memo addresses appropriateness of Halloween costumes

a skeleton hanging outside a window in a grey brick building with four visible windows

University memo addresses appropriateness of Halloween costumes

Sophia Varughese

“Ideally, everyone could wear whatever they want,” said University spokesperson Andrea Brown. “However, many seem to treat Halloween like a tramp convention, ruining it for everyone.”

“Ideally, everyone could wear whatever they want,” said University spokesperson Andrea Brown. “However, many seem to treat Halloween like a tramp convention, ruining it for everyone.”

HUMOR | 10/31/2023

Student trades soul to Devil for A- in French class, wishes she negotiated for more

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Student trades soul to Devil for A- in French class, wishes she negotiated for more

Sam McComb and Fletcher Block

Faust, a pre-med Chemistry major, says that she was at a low point in the year when she was first contacted by the Prince of Darkness through LinkedIn, a company he co-founded. “Knowing what I know now, I wish I had negotiated for more, like an A in CHM 301 or PHY 105,” said Faust. 

Faust, a pre-med chemistry major, says that she was at a low point in the year when she was first contacted by the Prince of Darkness through LinkedIn, a company he co-founded. “Knowing what I know now, I wish I had negotiated for more, like an A in CHM 301 or PHY 105,” said Faust. 

HUMOR | 10/31/2023

Trick or treat on the street

The view of a crosswalk between Prospect street, with the Eating Clubs Cannon, Quad, Ivy, and Cottage in view but partially obstructed by mostly bare trees.

Trick or treat on the street

Emmett Souder

Accompanied by my videographer Holly Ween ’25, I set off from the quiet and cozy ‘Prints’ newsroom in University Place for the tricks, treats, and thrills across campus. 

Accompanied by my videographer Holly Ween ’25, I set off from the quiet and cozy ‘Prints’ newsroom in University Place for the tricks, treats, and thrills across campus. 

HUMOR | 10/26/2023
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Princeton keeps No. 1 U.S. News Halloween Ranking for 174th year

A photo of orange and black balloons outside a stone building with two Tiger statues.

Princeton keeps No. 1 U.S. News Halloween Ranking for 174th year

Mya Koffie

In addition, students have been finding festive orange food in the dining halls, including orange cookies, orange Fanta, and orange-colored chicken. One spokesperson from Campus Dining commented, “Oh, the chicken is orange? Yeah … that’s just … food coloring. Definitely on purpose.”

In addition, students have been finding festive orange food in the dining halls, including orange cookies, orange Fanta, and orange-colored chicken. One spokesperson from Campus Dining commented, “Oh, the chicken is orange? Yeah … that’s just … food coloring. Definitely on purpose.”

HUMOR | 10/26/2023

Cases of vampirism on the rise following midterms

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Cases of vampirism on the rise following midterms

Sawyer Dilks

“It started maybe a week before midterms. Drake seemed really stressed, and was always in our dorm room studying. Meals, parties, and especially Sunday worship; he shut down any invitation to leave the room and began to develop really pale skin and dark eye bags. Even after midterms were over, he wouldn’t leave, and insisted on keeping the curtains drawn,” Bius explained.

“It started maybe a week before midterms. Drake seemed really stressed, and was always in our dorm room studying. Meals, parties, and especially Sunday worship; he shut down any invitation to leave the room and began to develop really pale skin and dark eye bags. Even after midterms were over, he wouldn’t leave, and insisted on keeping the curtains drawn,” Bius explained.

HUMOR | 10/25/2023

Final preparations underway for the ‘Princeton Purge’

A wide angle photo of students gathered outside on the grass in front of dorm buildings in Rockefeller and Mathey Colleges.

Final preparations underway for the ‘Princeton Purge’

Kareish Thony

The University is preparing to commence the annual campus-wide Princeton Purge. Inspired by the hit 2013 media franchise “The Purge,” the tradition serves as a vital tool to address student stress. Morality will be suspended and students are given permission to commit any action they like, whether it be partying on the Blair rooftop to vandalizing the Oval with Points statue. 

The University is preparing to commence the annual campus-wide Princeton Purge. Inspired by the hit 2013 media franchise “The Purge,” the tradition serves as a vital tool to address student stress. Morality will be suspended and students are given permission to commit any action they like, whether it be partying on the Blair rooftop to vandalizing the Oval with Points statue. 

HUMOR | 10/24/2023

Princeton re-invests in fossil fuels, citing ‘it’s too cold out’

Two people, one holding a megaphone, stand in front of a crowd of people holding signs in a park.

Princeton re-invests in fossil fuels, citing ‘it’s too cold out’

Lauren Owens

Young Alumni Trustee Isa Hoaks ’21 summarizes the board’s most recent meeting, explaining how they “primarily discussed the overwhelming evidence that fossil fuels are really not a problem because the global climate is not actually warming, as some people like to claim. I mean, have you been outside recently? It’s been getting colder and colder for weeks now.” 

Young Alumni Trustee Isa Hoaks ’21 summarizes the board’s most recent meeting, explaining how they “primarily discussed the overwhelming evidence that fossil fuels are really not a problem because the global climate is not actually warming, as some people like to claim. I mean, have you been outside recently? It’s been getting colder and colder for weeks now.” 

HUMOR | 10/23/2023

Ted Cruz delivers perplexing handwritten message to Whig-Clio

A man is holding a microphone while in front of a red background.

Ted Cruz delivers perplexing handwritten message to Whig-Clio

Michael Hwang

Though it is unknown why Cruz chose to deliver his opinion in such a cryptic manner, we believe that it may be an anti-liberal countermeasure against the prying eyes of the fake news media.

Though it is unknown why Cruz chose to deliver his opinion in such a cryptic manner, we believe that it may be an anti-liberal countermeasure against the prying eyes of the fake news media.

HUMOR | 10/22/2023

First-years head back to hometowns for much-needed confidence boosts

A train is waiting at a train station.

First-years head back to hometowns for much-needed confidence boosts

Mya Koffie

“I miss being in an environment where getting into Princeton felt like some sort of unique accomplishment,” says first-year and prospective politics concentrator Deb Baitte. “That was unfortunately the coolest thing about me, but everyone here has done it, too.”

“I miss being in an environment where getting into Princeton felt like some sort of unique accomplishment,” says first-year and prospective politics concentrator Deb Baitte. “That was unfortunately the coolest thing about me, but everyone here has done it, too.

HUMOR | 10/13/2023

The ad-mini-strators influencing daily life at Princeton

Front of Morrison Hall at night, lit up by the lights by the door.

The ad-mini-strators influencing daily life at Princeton

Mya Koffie

“Speciesism runs rampant at Princeton,” EEB concentrator Riley Shannon '24 explained in an interview with the Daily PrintsAnything. “There are underground figures shaping fundamental aspects of our college experience every day, but since they don’t have fancy offices or listserv access, they don’t receive the same acknowledgement for the work they do.”  

“Speciesism runs rampant at Princeton,” EEB concentrator Riley Shannon '24 explained in an interview with the Daily PrintsAnything. “There are underground figures shaping fundamental aspects of our college experience every day, but since they don’t have fancy offices or listserv access, they don’t receive the same acknowledgement for the work they do.”  

HUMOR | 09/28/2023

‘It’s an omen’: students react to Edwards tree crashing through window

Photo of a red oak tree fallen over on Edwards Hall, with leaves and branches strewn on the ground. A worker in a neon yellow vest is suspended above the tree on a crane extending from a truck to assess the damage.

‘It’s an omen’: students react to Edwards tree crashing through window

Caroline Rasmussen and Arika Hassan

Luckily, all residents were safely evacuated to Dillon, where they found life boats, hazmat suits, a full English breakfast, and SZA singing SOS. 

Luckily, all residents were safely evacuated to Dillon, where they found life boats, hazmat suits, a full English breakfast, and SZA singing SOS. 

HUMOR | 09/26/2023

RoMa strives to make Indian food Saturdays, like, super authentic

dining hall (Isabel Richardson).JPG

RoMa strives to make Indian food Saturdays, like, super authentic

Sophia Varughese

These changes will include a new uniform including sarees and kurtas made of craft felt as well as “those pointy shoes they wear in Aladdin,” says Sal Adbar, Director of Dining Services.

These changes will include a new uniform including sarees and kurtas made of craft felt as well as “those pointy shoes they wear in Aladdin,” says Sal Adbar, Director of Dining Services.

HUMOR | 09/26/2023

BREAKING: First-year lost during Outdoor Action finally rescued

Verdant greenery in the Northeastern United States.

BREAKING: First-year lost during Outdoor Action finally rescued

Sophia Varughese

The identity of this individual, as confirmed by the administration, is Mark McCalister ’76. Currently 69 years old, McCalister claims he has been searching the forest of Harriman State Park for his first-year Outdoor Action (OA) group for the past 51 years.

The identity of this individual, as confirmed by the administration, is Mark McCalister ’76. Currently 69 years old, McCalister claims he has been searching the forest of Harriman State Park for his first-year Outdoor Action (OA) group for the past 51 years.

HUMOR | 09/21/2023

Princeton maintains top spot in U.S. News college ranking, all thanks to one overachieving sophomore

Photo of boy with glasses on a dark blue background

Princeton maintains top spot in U.S. News college ranking, all thanks to one overachieving sophomore

Sam McComb

“We would be nowhere near the top of the ranking if not for the countless accomplishments of Danny Cole. The rest of the student body has essentially given up,” said Dean of Assessments Gordon Pritchard in an emailed statement.

“We would be nowhere near the top of the ranking if not for the countless accomplishments of Danny Cole. The rest of the student body has essentially given up,” said Dean of Assessments Gordon Pritchard in an emailed statement.

HUMOR | 09/20/2023

University installs AI as new Dean of the College

Photo of Dean of the College Jill Dolan's head photoshopped on the body of a futuristic robot.

University installs AI as new Dean of the College

Lauren Owens

The Daily PrintsAnything spoke to Dean Dolan, who was very excited about the new AI Dean software. “I've already started using it to respond to my colleagues’ emails,” she said. “I mean, who has time to answer hundreds of Chris’s [Eisgruber] emails crying about not getting into diSiac?”

The Daily PrintsAnything spoke to Dean Dolan, who was very excited about the new AI Dean software. “I've already started using it to respond to my colleagues’ emails,” she began. “I mean, who has time to answer hundreds of Chris’ [Eisgruber] emails crying about not getting into diSiac?”

HUMOR | 09/14/2023

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