After this extra ass semester, every bro on this campus needed a goated excuse to get tanked. Luckily for us, this year’s Lawnparties were peak bussin. Follow me, Jim Antonic, a.k.a. The Brommander in Chief, with squad through this past Sunday’s bash.
Students were able to access and leak an API containing the University’s admissions data two days before it was meant to be released.
Students were able to access and leak an API containing the University’s admissions data two days before it was meant to be released.
“We store gallons of pee in the basement to throw on people at parties, as you know,” said Cloister president Serena Stream ’24. “People have been stealing from our pee reserves for the past year, and we’ve been burning through our cash just trying to stay stocked.”
“We store gallons of pee in the basement to throw on people at parties, as you know,” said Cloister president Serena Stream ’24. “People have been stealing from our pee reserves for the past year, and we’ve been burning through our cash just trying to stay stocked.”
“When I first saw the union contract, I thought we were being hired as electrical engineers,” said Angelica Crumbstop, one of the rats currently employed by the University. According to the job listing on Indeed, the actual job title is “Electric Engine.”
“When I first saw the union contract, I thought we were being hired as electrical engineers,” said Angelica Crumbstop, one of the rats currently employed by the University. According to the job listing on Indeed, the actual job title is “Electric Engine”.
“As we give thanks this fall, we should also forgive,” said Chair of the Honor Committee Ross Ponsabiliti ’24. “In that spirit of forgiveness, we’re offering a second chance at a legitimate academic career to one lucky offender.”
“As we give thanks this fall, we should also forgive,” said Chair of the Honor Committee Ross Ponsabiliti ’24. “In that spirit of forgiveness, we’re offering a second chance at a legitimate academic career to one lucky offender.”
“‘Saltburn’ is a darkly luscious portrait of obsession and visceral wanting,” says Entertainment Weekly about this year’s newest psychosexual thriller. With ‘Saltburn’ set to release to the public on Nov. 22, it’s the ideal movie to enjoy as you and your loved ones celebrate all you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving.
“‘Saltburn’ is a darkly luscious portrait of obsession and visceral wanting,” says Entertainment Weekly about this year’s newest psychosexual thriller. With ‘Saltburn’ set to release to the public on Nov. 22, it’s the ideal movie to enjoy as you and your loved ones celebrate all you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving.
“Ideally, everyone could wear whatever they want,” said University spokesperson Andrea Brown. “However, many seem to treat Halloween like a tramp convention, ruining it for everyone.”
“Ideally, everyone could wear whatever they want,” said University spokesperson Andrea Brown. “However, many seem to treat Halloween like a tramp convention, ruining it for everyone.”
These changes will include a new uniform including sarees and kurtas made of craft felt as well as “those pointy shoes they wear in Aladdin,” says Sal Adbar, Director of Dining Services.
These changes will include a new uniform including sarees and kurtas made of craft felt as well as “those pointy shoes they wear in Aladdin,” says Sal Adbar, Director of Dining Services.
The identity of this individual, as confirmed by the administration, is Mark McCalister ’76. Currently 69 years old, McCalister claims he has been searching the forest of Harriman State Park for his first-year Outdoor Action (OA) group for the past 51 years.
The identity of this individual, as confirmed by the administration, is Mark McCalister ’76. Currently 69 years old, McCalister claims he has been searching the forest of Harriman State Park for his first-year Outdoor Action (OA) group for the past 51 years.
According to multiple online sources, these two men have been traveling the country pretending to be The Chainsmokers, producing nearly identical-sounding music, as well as acting in the same douche-bag manner integral to The Chainsmokers’ image.
According to multiple online sources, these two men have been traveling the country pretending to be The Chainsmokers, producing nearly identical-sounding music, as well as acting in the same douche-bag manner integral to The Chainsmokers’ image.
