The Princetonian

Survey suggests 15% of seniors are just two first-years in a trenchcoat

Survey suggests 15% of seniors are just two first-years in a trenchcoat

Spencer Bauman

| HUMOR | November 14

HUMOR: The survey was released following rising suspicions of these “pseudo-seniors.” Individuals in trenchcoats were seen sneaking into eating clubs, while repeatedly shouting the word “thesis” in order to blend in.

Princeton to cover students’ tuition in the form of U-Store credit

Princeton to cover students’ tuition in the form of U-Store credit

Spencer Bauman

| HUMOR | September 8

HUMOR: With this money to use at the U-Store, the University expects each student to be able to purchase either one short-sleeved shirt, one box of pop-tarts, two Gatorades, or an orange folder that holds three or four pieces of paper.

Princeton to interview parents in upcoming application cycle

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Princeton to interview parents in upcoming application cycle

Spencer Bauman

| HUMOR | April 5

SATIRE: Students have also been advised not to write their parents’ supplement for them, and the Office of Admission has noted “we will be able to tell if they do.”

University announces Class of 2026 pre-read “Oh, the Places You’ll Go”

Spencer Bauman

| HUMOR | March 22

SATIRE: A shift in tone from “Moving Up without Losing Your Way,” University President Christopher Eisgruber ’83 announced the Class of 2026 pre-read will be Dr. Seuss’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go.”

8 ways to ask out your crush this Valentine's Day

8 ways to ask out your crush this Valentine's Day

Spencer Bauman and David Cabrera

| HUMOR | February 13

SATIRE: We at The Daily PrintsAnything have compiled a list for the hopeless romantics among us this Valentines’ Day.

Princeton introduces “0-hundred level” courses for those who no longer wish to be academically challenged

Princeton introduces “0-hundred level” courses for those who no longer wish to be academically challenged

Spencer Bauman

| HUMOR | February 6

SATIRE: Starting in the Fall 2022 semester, classes like MAT 002: Counting by Fives, COS 026: Making Folders in Google Drive, and CWR 002: Intro to Complete Sentences will be available for all undergraduates.