Noah Cee, a representative from Housing Services, told The Daily PrintsAnything, “We are looking forward to watching undergraduates scramble around campus looking for fans. They are NOT on the roof!”
Noah Cee, a representative from Housing Services, told The Daily PrintsAnything, “We are looking forward to watching undergraduates scramble around campus looking for fans. They are NOT on the roof!”
Cessible, who uses an electric wheelchair, lives in one of the University’s completely inaccessible dorm buildings due to her ill-suited sorting into Rockefeller College and unfortunate room draw time. After bringing attention to her issue, housing services provided Putie with a chain lock for her wheelchair, so that it wouldn’t be stolen from the bike racks outside her dorm overnight.
Putie, who uses an electric wheelchair, lives in one of the University’s completely inaccessible dorm buildings due to her ill-suited sorting into Rockefeller College and unfortunate room draw time. After bringing attention to her issue, housing services provided Putie with a chain lock for her wheelchair, so that it wouldn’t be stolen from the bike racks outside her dorm overnight.
HUMOR: “I mean I’ll be more employable than … what do you even call them? Ecologyists? Evolutionarists? Geoscientists? Those all sound like made up jobs, I mean, I stand around them all day, and I’ve never once heard any of them talk about anything that seemed important. Just ‘conservation’ this and ‘natural disasters’ that,” Arnold the Allosaurus said.
HUMOR: “I mean I’ll be more employable than … what do you even call them? Ecologyists? Evolutionarists? Geoscientists? Those all sound like made up jobs, I mean, I stand around them all day, and I’ve never once heard any of them talk about anything that seemed important. Just ‘conservation’ this and ‘natural disasters’ that,” Arnold the Allosaurus said.
HUMOR: “She co-founded Rappler? Well, I write a lifestyle blog about the barbaric politics of Brooklyn private high schools. Who the f*** does she think she is?”
HUMOR: “She co-founded Rappler? Well, I write a lifestyle blog about the barbaric politics of Brooklyn private high schools. Who the f*** does she think she is?”
HUMOR: What’s not to love? Where else am I able to watch a movie from the early 2000s on a large blow-up screen on the cold, wet ground outside the building where I failed my math exam?
HUMOR: What’s not to love? Where else am I able to watch a movie from the early 2000s on a large blow-up screen on the cold, wet ground outside the building where I failed my math exam?
HUMOR: Thirty minutes later, another TigerAlert was issued: “The entrance to Firestone Library has been cleared. Students may continue attempting to avoid academic mediocrity as they see fit.”
HUMOR: Thirty minutes later, another TigerAlert was issued: “The entrance to Firestone Library has been cleared. Students may continue attempting to avoid academic mediocrity as they see fit.”
HUMOR: The survey was released following rising suspicions of these “pseudo-seniors.” Individuals in trenchcoats were seen sneaking into eating clubs, while repeatedly shouting the word “thesis” in order to blend in.
HUMOR: The survey was released following rising suspicions of these “pseudo-seniors.” Individuals in trenchcoats were seen sneaking into eating clubs, while repeatedly shouting the word “thesis” in order to blend in.
HUMOR: With this money to use at the U-Store, the University expects each student to be able to purchase either one short-sleeved shirt, one box of pop-tarts, two Gatorades, or an orange folder that holds three or four pieces of paper.
HUMOR: With this money to use at the U-Store, the University expects each student to be able to purchase either one short-sleeved shirt, one box of pop-tarts, two Gatorades, or an orange folder that holds three or four pieces of paper.
SATIRE: Students have also been advised not to write their parents’ supplement for them, and the Office of Admission has noted “we will be able to tell if they do.”
SATIRE: Students have also been advised not to write their parents’ supplement for them, and the Office of Admission has noted “we will be able to tell if they do.”
SATIRE: A shift in tone from “Moving Up without Losing Your Way,” University President Christopher Eisgruber ’83 announced the Class of 2026 pre-read will be Dr. Seuss’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go.”
SATIRE: A shift in tone from “Moving Up without Losing Your Way,” University President Christopher Eisgruber ’83 announced the Class of 2026 pre-read will be Dr. Seuss’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go.”
