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Humor

Princeton names new residential colleges, but with 50 year expiration date in case they regret it later

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Princeton names new residential colleges, but with 50 year expiration date in case they regret it later

Andrew Johnson

SATIRE: “Times are changing pretty fast and stuff, so the board thought it best to give the next generation of Princetonians, 50 years from now, some opportunity to revisit and clean up the University’s legacy a little bit. Just in case,” Eisgruber wrote.

SATIRE: “Times are changing pretty fast and stuff, so the board thought it best to give the next generation of Princetonians, 50 years from now, some opportunity to revisit and clean up the University’s legacy a little bit. Just in case,” Eisgruber wrote.

HUMOR | 10/26/2021
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U. celebrates Nobel laureate climate scientist Syukuro Manabe, announces plans to consider divestment in like, four decades

Banner with the slogan “Climate action now” is held by a person standing behind a tiger statue

U. celebrates Nobel laureate climate scientist Syukuro Manabe, announces plans to consider divestment in like, four decades

Liana Slomka

Satire: The University has formed a committee, a subcommittee, and a working group that will take Manabe’s work into consideration in deciding whether to make a divestment plan one of these days.

Satire: The University has formed a committee, a subcommittee, and a working group that will take Manabe’s work into consideration in deciding whether to make a divestment plan one of these days.

HUMOR | 10/12/2021

Band to offer midterm hit-grams

princeton band

Band to offer midterm hit-grams

Emma Moriarty

Satire: The Band recommends placing orders as soon as possible, as requests for popular campus figures like That Guy Who Has Been Hacking Up a Lung in The Back of Your 200-Person Lecture and any res college staff members who still use the phrase “unprecedented times” may fill up quickly.

Satire: The Band recommends placing orders as soon as possible, as requests for popular campus figures like That Guy Who Has Been Hacking Up a Lung in The Back of Your 200-Person Lecture and any res college staff members who still use the phrase “unprecedented times” may fill up quickly.

HUMOR | 10/12/2021

Anscombe Society hosts the Don’t-Have-Sexpo

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Anscombe Society hosts the Don’t-Have-Sexpo

Zachary Shevin

The Safer Sexpo made headlines last year for its sex toy giveaway, and continues giving out “goodie bags” filled with condoms and lube. Anscombe felt a similar giveaway system would help engage first-years, but opted to raffle chastity belts instead.

The Safer Sexpo made headlines last year for its sex toy giveaway, and continues giving out “goodie bags” filled with condoms and lube. Anscombe felt a similar giveaway system would help engage first-years, but opted to raffle chastity belts instead.

HUMOR | 09/28/2021

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