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Humor

In new COVID-19 protocol, UHS will offer 10 free inflatable hamster balls to positive students

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In new COVID-19 protocol, UHS will offer 10 free inflatable hamster balls to positive students

Emma Moriarty

SATIRE: Following several students’ concerns about transmissibility among negative and positive roommates isolating in the same space, this new policy aims to provide a COVID-safe space for showering, brushing teeth, and utilizing shared spaces. 

SATIRE: Following several students' concerns about transmissibility among negative and positive roommates isolating in the same space, this new policy aims to provide a Covid-safe space for showering, brushing teeth, and utilizing shared spaces. 

HUMOR | 01/25/2022

Professor incorrectly used right to free speech, claims Princeton Closed Campus Coalition

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Professor incorrectly used right to free speech, claims Princeton Closed Campus Coalition

Andrew Johnson

SATIRE: “How can the Aristotelians on this campus express their traditional geocentric values in such a toxic atmosphere?” asked Jane Doe, spokesperson of the PCCC. 

SATIRE: “How can the Aristotelians on this campus express their traditional geocentric values in such a toxic atmosphere?” asked Jane Doe, spokesperson of the PCCC. 

HUMOR | 01/24/2022
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Student body will return to not giving a crap about sports for the next 364 days

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Student body will return to not giving a crap about sports for the next 364 days

Liana Slomka

SATIRE: “It was fun following football for the last few weeks,” said Matt Diplo ’22. “But now I can get back to spending my Saturdays doing something that has a real impact the world — roleplaying Norway in Model UN.”

SATIRE: “It was fun following football for the last few weeks,” said Matt Diplo ’22. “But now I can get back to spending my Saturdays doing something that has a real impact the world — roleplaying Norway in Model UN.”

HUMOR | 11/17/2021

We can’t wait for student newspapers to fix themselves. So we’re starting a new one.

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We can’t wait for student newspapers to fix themselves. So we’re starting a new one.

Zachary Shevin

SATIRE: The new publication will allow students to publish whatever word vomit they churn out, whenever they want, with absolutely no editorial oversight. 

SATIRE: The new publication will allow students to publish whatever word vomit they churn out, whenever they want, with absolutely no editorial oversight. 

HUMOR | 11/16/2021

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