The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
Following his semester in Kenya, Ecology and Evolutionary Biology student Reid Myblog ’23 plans to return to campus next fall with a more worldly perspective than he has ever held before, which he expects none of his friends could possibly understand.
“I can’t wait to tell my roommates all about the world I’ve discovered that exists outside of our Orange Bubble,” Myblog said. “But I know that without meeting the people I’ve met and seeing the things I’ve seen, they can’t reasonably imagine the great wide world out there.”
Myblog does not plan to let this superiority stop him from relating every course, campus event, and mealtime conversation to something that happened during his time studying abroad. He intends to pepper his speech with incorrect usages of common Swahili phrases and decorate his room with souvenirs bought at the airport.
“They’re authentic,” he claimed, despite the “Made in Taiwan” stickers on his wooden lion sculpture and beaded bracelet.
Myblog explained that while he looks forward to bringing his newfound worldview back to the University in the fall, he’ll “never feel quite as at home as [he] did with [his] homestay family in Kenya,” whose names he could never pronounce and does not remember.
Liana Slomka is a junior studying Ecology and Evolutionary Biology and a staff Satire writer. She is currently studying abroad in what she can only describe as a “truly enriching experience.” She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.