The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
With the Class of 2026 decision release behind us, the University has announced a crucial change to the application process for the upcoming admissions cycle. Specifically, along with alumni interviews of applicants, the University has decided to implement interviews of applicants’ parents, too.
Prospective parents will be required to submit their own supplement through the Common Application, and will later be contacted to schedule an interview.
We at The Daily PrintsAnything sat down with current admissions counselor Dez Syder ’17 to understand what qualities the Office of Admission will be looking for in the parents of a prospective student.
“We are looking for parents who will contribute positively to the Princeton community,” she noted, “and by community, I mean the Princeton Parents Facebook page.”
“We are tired of parents who only ‘lurk’ on the page and do not contribute to the lively discussion. We want to see motivated parents who post questions that could easily be answered by either their child or a quick Google search,” Syder continued.
Prospective students have already begun expressing their concerns regarding this recent update.
“Does this mean I need to get my mom a college counselor now?” asked one applicant.
Students have also been advised not to write their parents’ supplement for them, and the Office of Admission has noted “we will be able to tell if they do.”
Spencer Bauman is an associate satire editor for The Daily Princetonian. He is very glad his parents are not active on the Princeton Parents Facebook page and would like for it to stay that way.