Henceforth undergraduates will be required to sign a pledge whenever accessing the University WiFi “I pledge my honor that I have not pirated Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, and have no intention of pirating Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.”
The scooter is long enough to fit around three dozen students at a time, according to new Director of Parking and Transportation Carlton Calvin. However, in keeping with the air of wealth and prestige that the scooters bring to users, the price of Dinky transportation has been raised from three dollars to 300 dollars per trip.
The bat that invaded Frist Campus Center earlier this semester returned to campus on New Year’s Day to haunt undergraduates preparing for finals. Students reported sensing the bat’s aura upon returning to campus for reading week. Undergraduate Student Government has agreed to host a séance on Thursday night for students who wish to venerate the bat in exchange for good luck on their exams.
A flyer for the Zarnab Virk ’20 Undergraduate Student Government (USG) presidential campaign was found translated into Russian and lying on the floor of the Slavic languages and literatures department, causing campus officials to speculate about possible collusion.
In 2018, the world watched in awe as curling took center stage for the Winter Olympics. Capitalizing on the interest in the sport and a potentially untapped market, the University has decided to add a 36th team to the varsity list, starting in 2019.
Last Friday, the University held its first ever “He Bellows” conference celebrating male domination in fields like politics, technology, and the military. Notable alumni guests included U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R) ’92, Google’s Eric Schmidt ’76, and former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld ’54.
With concerns rising over the inclusivity levels of the bonfire tradition, Princeton has updated the requirements to earning a bonfire. With all 37 teams now required to beat Harvard and Yale in the same season, future classes will be able to rejoice at the equality of the event, coupled with the relative ease in earning it.
Yur Jellus, a sophomore from Lawrenceville, N.J., broke the record for the greatest amount of travel funding for a single independent research project at the University. This summer, the Wilson School concentrator will travel to the dark side of the moon, the bottom of the Pacific Ocean’s Mariana Trench, and the geographic center of Antarctica as part of his academic exploration of “diplomacy through solitude.”
One year after the opening of Bezos Residential College, an investigation conducted by The Daily Princetonian found independent residents suffer from diabetes, paper cuts. First-year students in Bezos said their transition to campus was negatively impacted because they never left their dorm rooms.
Jim Olaf ’19 was never a fan of the Bicker process. He found the process overall morally disingenuous, vaguely illiberal, and almost entirely lacking in empathy. But Olaf had a vision: a process that, instead, would be morally reprehensible, completely illiberal, and entirely lacking empathy.