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David Liu


Football team to be treated for uncontrollable “dabbing” outbreak*

Per a University announcement Wednesday evening, all players and coaches of the varsity football team will be immediately treated for a widespread “dabbing” outbreak that has plagued the team of late. Signs of the outbreak first emerged late into the 2016 season when senior running back Im Too Cool cost the Tigers the Ivy League championships when he fumbled the game-winning touchdown after breaking into a spontaneous dab.


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