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Humor

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200+ future humanities majors enroll in CHM 201 this semester

HUMOR: “I just know that witnessing a world-renowned scientist read the syllabus straight from his slides will set me on the path to an ORFE degree,” said N. Janeer ’26, who will declare Slavic Languages and Literature next semester.

HUMOR: “I just know that witnessing a world-renowned scientist read the syllabus straight from his slides will set me on the path to an ORFE degree,” said N. Janeer ’26, who will declare Slavic Languages and Literature next semester.

HUMOR | 09/13/2022

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Princeton to cover students’ tuition in the form of U-Store credit

HUMOR: With this money to use at the U-Store, the University expects each student to be able to purchase either one short-sleeved shirt, one box of pop-tarts, two Gatorades, or an orange folder that holds three or four pieces of paper.

HUMOR: With this money to use at the U-Store, the University expects each student to be able to purchase either one short-sleeved shirt, one box of pop-tarts, two Gatorades, or an orange folder that holds three or four pieces of paper.

HUMOR | 09/08/2022

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‘I’m right here’: Jack Quaid’s ego shattered as students obsess over A-list ‘Oppenheimer’ co-stars

SATIRE: “Excuse me,” one sophomore asked Quaid, believing him to be a production assistant. “Could you take a photo of me and Matt Damon?”

SATIRE: “Excuse me,” one sophomore asked Quaid, believing him to be a production assistant. “Could you take a photo of me and Matt Damon?”

HUMOR | 04/19/2022

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Thesis Binding

‘I wrote a book!’ says senior who cobbled together 20ish-page thesis in three days

SATIRE: A closer investigation from The Daily PrintsAnything reveals that the essay was in fact only 19 pages in length before Ell added in a 1.5 inch left margin and seven page-long figures.

SATIRE: A closer investigation from The Daily PrintsAnything reveals that the essay was in fact only 19 pages in length before Ell added in a 1.5 inch left margin and seven page-long figures.

HUMOR | 04/18/2022

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History majors push Princeton to boycott the construction industry

SATIRE: PSH will be hosting a critical screening of the animated series “Bob the Builder” in McCosh 50 tomorrow to garner support for their movement. Following the discussion of how Bob perpetuates pro-construction ideals, PSH members will convene at Poe Field and shout at the new residential colleges.

SATIRE: PSH will be hosting a critical screening of the animated series “Bob the Builder” in McCosh 50 tomorrow to garner support for their movement. Following the discussion of how Bob perpetuates pro-construction ideals, PSH members will convene at Poe Field and shout at the new residential colleges.

HUMOR | 04/10/2022

The entrance of the newsroom

I am the staffer stuck in 48 University Place. Please help.

SATIRE: Once, I believed, as we all did, in the power of satire to enact change. No more. This is the end. Now I know that the only power of satire is to provoke more satire, more satire which nobody reads . . . 

SATIRE: Once, I believed, as we all did, in the power of satire to enact change. No more. This is the end. Now I know that the only power of satire is to provoke more satire, more satire which nobody reads . . . 

HUMOR | 04/05/2022

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University announces Class of 2026 pre-read “Oh, the Places You’ll Go”

SATIRE: A shift in tone from “Moving Up without Losing Your Way,” University President Christopher Eisgruber ’83 announced the Class of 2026 pre-read will be Dr. Seuss’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go.” 

SATIRE: A shift in tone from “Moving Up without Losing Your Way,” University President Christopher Eisgruber ’83 announced the Class of 2026 pre-read will be Dr. Seuss’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go.” 

HUMOR | 03/22/2022

USG on Zoom

Viewpoint Diversity USG Task Force advocates anti-antiracist training

SATIRE: This new training would also support a new Center for Viewpoint Diversity, which would “innovatively foster the study of such oppressed disciplines as classics and jurisprudence,” according to the task force’s press release.

SATIRE: This new training would also support a new Center for Viewpoint Diversity, which would “innovatively foster the study of such oppressed disciplines as classics and jurisprudence,” according to the task force’s press release.

HUMOR | 03/15/2022