The Daily Princetonian apologizes for the publication of this piece.
The Daily Princetonian apologizes for the publication of this piece.
“We’re trying to weed out the kids who ‘could have been happy anywhere,’“ said Dean of Admission Karen Richardson ’93.
“We’re trying to weed out the kids who ‘could have been happy anywhere,’“ said Dean of Admission Karen Richardson ’93.
The Safer Sexpo made headlines last year for its sex toy giveaway, and continues giving out “goodie bags” filled with condoms and lube. Anscombe felt a similar giveaway system would help engage first-years, but opted to raffle chastity belts instead.
The Safer Sexpo made headlines last year for its sex toy giveaway, and continues giving out “goodie bags” filled with condoms and lube. Anscombe felt a similar giveaway system would help engage first-years, but opted to raffle chastity belts instead.
“If you really think about it, we killed him. With like, technology and iPhones and stuff. It's depressing shit, man!”
“If you really think about it, we killed him. With like, technology and iPhones and stuff. It's depressing shit, man!”
“Off the record, your RCA said that at the next study break, everyone will be given condoms except you.”
“Off the record, your RCA said that at the next study break, everyone will be given condoms except you.”
"'We want to be sure that our parties are safe and responsible,' said a spokesperson for the ICC. 'So from now on, we will only be admitting students who have tested positive within the last 48 hours.'"
“We want to be sure that our parties are safe and responsible,” said a spokesperson for the ICC. “So from now on, we will only be admitting students who have tested positive within the last 48 hours.”
Among The Daily Princetonian’s most beloved traditions is our annual joke issue. For the first time ever, we’ve adapted this year’s compendium of satire, humor, and jokes online. We hope you enjoy!
There is a third option, though, one that the United States has been gracious enough to impart on the rest of the world in the past: foreign intervention.
To this end, I propose not only that anti-racist training is a grotesque offensive against all we hold dear, but more to the point, I suggest that we substitute our own anti-reverse racism training in its place.
Despite previously petitioning to keep each other off campus, first years, sophomores, juniors, and seniors are calling for “unity” in light of the University’s announcement that all students will be invited back this spring.
Despite previously petitioning to keep each other off campus, first years, sophomores, juniors, and seniors are calling for “unity” in light of the University’s announcement that all students will be invited back this spring.
The trials will closely resemble the three traditional medieval ordeals: ordeal by hot water, cold water, and hot iron. The severity of accusation will determine which trial the student is subjected to.
The trials will closely resemble the three traditional medieval ordeals: ordeal by hot water, cold water, and hot iron. The severity of accusation will determine which trial the student is subjected to.
This perfidious reform, inspired without a doubt by the Evil One himself, masquerades as bringing divine justice to a corrupt, human process.
Students enrolled in undergraduate or graduate programs must refrain from playing Among Us, Skribbl.io, or Kahoot, according to a recent announcement. It is unclear how this will impact the recently-renamed “Among Us clubs” (formerly known as “eating clubs”).
Students enrolled in undergraduate or graduate programs must refrain from playing Among Us, Skribbl.io, or Kahoot, according to a recent announcement. It is unclear how this will impact the recently-renamed “Among Us clubs” (formerly known as “eating clubs”).
Dean of the College Jill Dolan, told The Daily PrincetOnion that, in addition to colloquium being on her list of the “top thirty most fun words to say,” she hoped the catchy title of “Entryways: First Year Academic Experience Community Colloquium” would entice students.
Dean of the College Jill Dolan, told The Daily PrincetOnion that, in addition to colloquium being on her list of the “top thirty most fun words to say,” she hoped the catchy title of “Entryways: First Year Academic Experience Community Colloquium” would entice students.
A recently-circulated petition calls for an increase of classes offered from 1 to 3 a.m. EST, office hours from 4 a.m. onwards, and USG movie nights at 8 a.m.
A recently-circulated petition calls for an increase of classes offered from 1 to 3 am EST, office hours from 4 am onwards, and USG movie nights at 8 am.
The new feature, which has sparked much discussion among students, is more social than administrative, allowing students to share pictures and videos via Instagram and Snapchat story-like clips.
The new feature, which has sparked much discussion among students, is more social than administrative, allowing students to share pictures and videos via Instagram and Snapchat story-like clips.
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-T.X.) ’92 recently announced plans to move back to his birthplace in Canada, telling Princeton students at a virtual event co-sponsored by Whig-Clio, Princeton College Republicans, and the Princeton Tory that America is “uninhabitably liberal.”
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-T.X.) ’92 recently announced plans to move back to his birthplace in Canada, telling Princeton students at a virtual event co-sponsored by Whig-Clio, Princeton College Republicans, and the Princeton Tory that America is “uninhabitably liberal.”
The University’s Campus Message system has been co-opted for President Eisgruber’s personal — and often confusing — use. Last night, at about 9:15 p.m., every Princeton student received an email with the subject line “Campus Message: Felt Cute, Might Delete Later”; enclosed within was a mirror selfie in his office. Students are unsure how to react to the barrage of messages.
