Humor

Third Wintersession offers many classes to students, "Jonas: The IMAX 4D Winter Experience" among them Updated: Snowstorm strikes campus the one week without school Historical Society of Princeton opens farm, reenacts historic Princeton agri-"culture" Princeton town to make Unicycle Master Plan with Schwinn input USG to initiate hoverboard share program, work on telling fewer Nickelback jokes for Lawnparties First round sign-in ends, ICC not releasing numbers but the truth is out there

HUMOR | 02/03/2016

A Princetonian’s letter to Santa Claus

A Princetonian’s letter to Santa Claus

Danielle Taylor

Dear Santa, Listen, Nick, we both know I have not exactly earned a spot on the Nice List this year.

HUMOR | 12/16/2015

Top Ten: The Princeton Song

Top Ten: The Princeton Song

Daily Princetonian Staff

1. Nomad Pizza roasting on an open fire 2. Jeff Nunokawa nipping at your nose 3. Yuletide carols being sung by Tigertones 4.

HUMOR | 12/16/2015

Headliners & Headshakers

Daily Princetonian Staff

Princeton files plan for 446 units of affordable housing, wait, something will be affordable in Princeton? USG discusses ways to decrease student voter apathy during elections U.

HUMOR | 12/16/2015

Headliners & Headshakers

Daily Princetonian Staff

Tilghman to join nefarious-sounding but equally prestigious-sounding Harvard Corporation U.

HUMOR | 12/09/2015

Top Ten: Thoughts on Winter Formals

Daily Princetonian Staff

It’s “winter.” So dress “warmly.” Like that ice sculpture will melt.

HUMOR | 12/09/2015

Top Ten: Applications you should've started earlier

Daily Princetonian Staff

1. IIP 2. PICS 3. The class that goes to Havana 4. The class that goes to Peru 5.

HUMOR | 12/02/2015

Headliners and Headshakers

Daily Princetonian Staff

Through Arts and Transit Project,Fenwick Hospitality Group expands restaurant empire’s territorial possessions Post office relocated to 259 Nassau amid debate, old location eyed for restaurant development ... hmm N.J.

HUMOR | 12/02/2015

Top Ten: Things to be thankful for

Daily Princetonian Staff

1. It's still pretty warm outside.2. More-secular-than-usual Starbucks cups.3.

HUMOR | 11/18/2015

Headliners & Headshakers

Daily Princetonian Staff

U. sees rise in height of international graduate students Café, restaurant to open next year alongside forthcoming concrete monolith for the arts Admission office sees 9.4 percent increase in early action applications; the vengeful U.S.

HUMOR | 11/18/2015

Top Ten: Orange and Black Ball Considerations

Daily Princetonian Staff

1. “Casino Royale” is better than “Spectre” 2. But “Skyfall” is the best 3.

HUMOR | 11/11/2015

Headliners and Headshakers

Daily Princetonian Staff

Cruz ’92 proposes dissolution of IRS at presidential debate, proposes annual tribute of insincere folksiness instead Whig-Clio Tiger statues vandalized yet again, as sacred guardians of Cannon Green, the Tigers demand sacrifice in retribution Trick-or-Feed raises $7,601, collects 760 non-perishable items, and 76 slightly creased Ivy passes on Princetoween UMatter, TigerTransit to provide nighttime weekend bus service, with a monorail in the pipeline Analysis shows Frist, Murray-Dodge most popular places for free food distribution; proves that learning R was good for something Princeton Neuroscience Network approved as official, 24/7 neuro service dedicated to finding missing or malfunctioning brains

HUMOR | 11/11/2015

Headliners and Headshakers

Daily Princetonian Staff

13 incidences of hand, foot and mouth disease diagnosed on campus; Meningitis B supposedly overcome, the medieval plague begins anewNeither News nor Notes: Princeton ranked best college town of 2015, according to company no one has ever heard ofMost students comfortable with new rifle policy; calls for Red Ryder carbine-action BB gun this ChristmasAvalonBay construction halted due to on-site contamination; Hand, foot and mouth disease unearthedNJ Transit begins #RudeZone campaign; all rude passengers required to self-segregate from general populationLocal radio station WPRB celebrates 75th anniversary; quietly playing hipster music for old people since 1940

HUMOR | 10/21/2015

Top Ten: Reasons to visit the Writing Center

Daily Princetonian Staff

1. R1 is due. 2. R2 is due. 3. First assignment for “Practical Ethics.” 4.

HUMOR | 10/14/2015

Headliners & Headshakers

Daily Princetonian Staff

1. Volcker ’49 cleans out basement, donates public service papers to U. 2. U. endowment returns 12.7 percent, up to $22.7B; U.

HUMOR | 10/07/2015

In Defense of: Piazza

Daily Princetonian Staff

If, like me, you got through half of your Princeton career without ever posting to Piazza, I would hazard a guess that, like me, you are a humanities major who has been steadfastly ignoring her QR requirement.

HUMOR | 09/30/2015

Headliners & Headshakes

Daily Princetonian Staff

President of South Africa Jacob Zuma touts democracy in exclusive eating club170 students offered sorority membership following rush, former U.

HUMOR | 09/30/2015

Headliners and Headshakers

Daily Princetonian Staff

Neither News Nor Notes: Cotsen Children’s Library named Carle Honors Award recipient, Firestone Library named the Gates of Hell Cruz ’92, Christie remain top 10 Republican candidates, Trump is still winning so why are we talking about this U.

HUMOR | 09/23/2015

Beyond Beyond Wall Street

Daily Princetonian Staff

Does your five-year plan include finance or consulting? After a number of surveys, follow-up surveys and focus groups, the University has come to the conclusion that there are indeed students whose answer to this question is “No.” In response, the University offered “Beyond Wall Street” and related programming to provide students with exposure to “alternative” career paths.

HUMOR | 02/11/2015

A single's guide to Valentine's Day

Maya Wesby

12:48 p.m. — You wake up thinking about “The Bae” and how he/she/ze is wonderful and perfect.

HUMOR | 02/11/2015

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