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Headliners and Headshakers

Cruz ’92 proposes dissolution of IRS at presidential debate, proposes annual tribute of insincere folksiness instead

Whig-Clio Tiger statues vandalized yet again, as sacred guardians of Cannon Green, the Tigers demand sacrifice in retribution


Trick-or-Feed raises $7,601, collects 760 non-perishable items, and 76 slightly creased Ivy passes on Princetoween

UMatter, TigerTransit to provide nighttime weekend bus service, with a monorail in the pipeline

Analysis shows Frist, Murray-Dodge most popular places for free food distribution; proves that learning R was good for something

Princeton Neuroscience Network approved as official, 24/7 neuro service dedicated to finding missing or malfunctioning brains