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Headliners and Headshakers

13 incidences of hand, foot and mouth disease diagnosed on campus; Meningitis B supposedly overcome, the medieval plague begins anew

Neither News nor Notes: Princeton ranked best college town of 2015, according to company no one has ever heard of

Most students comfortable with new rifle policy; calls for Red Ryder carbine-action BB gun this Christmas

AvalonBay construction halted due to on-site contamination; Hand, foot and mouth disease unearthed

NJ Transit begins #RudeZone campaign; all rude passengers required to self-segregate from general population

Local radio station WPRB celebrates 75th anniversary; quietly playing hipster music for old people since 1940