Budget cuts force McGraw to replace tutors with Youtube screenings

The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.

The McGraw Learning Center appears to be next on the list when it comes to budget cuts, as the University just announced that it will replace paid peer tutors with Youtube video screenings. Tickets will be sold on Ticketmaster using dynamic pricing, and students will be able to pay a surcharge for refreshments from the dining hall of their choice.

This program is in the beta testing stage, with screenings of videos from accounts including Khan Academy, the Organic Chemistry Tutor, and Heimler’s History being shown to preview audiences. Exit surveys, analyzed by McGraw, have suggested mixed reviews among students. On the chemistry showing, Barry M. Beeker ’26 wrote “The center told me I was watching a new student film as they sold me a $10 ticket. I haven’t taken a chemistry class in four years. Why am I here?”

“All I wanted was some help with my writing seminar essay. Instead, I had to sit through the same Khan Academy video loop for 3 hours while I sat on hold with the customer service line and ate raw chicken from Whitman,” said Hugh Burden ’29.

The decision comes with further controversy, as none of the featured Youtubers are receiving royalties from the ticket sales. When asked for comment, the Organic Chemistry Tutor said, “I already got these kids into Princeton; now you’re telling me I’m getting them through it? I don’t get paid enough for this.”

On top of that, McGraw has also been in talks with Meta to integrate its new AI video creator, Vibes, into the service. This integration would allow for the center to phase out the YouTube videos in favor of completely AI-created educational lectures. Students will be able to pick their own professor, creating one-of-a-kind opportunities like Global Health and Health Policy minors learning from Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. or Operations Research and Financial Engineering majors hearing from Jordan Belfort himself.

In addition to screenings, McGraw has also introduced a prototype AI tutor known as AI-bert Einstein to assist students with their problem sets as well as their German.

“We figured, if we can’t prevent students from using AI, we might as well join them,” said AI developer George P. Thomas.

This statement doesn’t come as a surprise, as the Frosh Survey revealed that 25 percent of the incoming class have used AI on homework in the past, with 100 percent of the other 75 percent lying about their AI usage.

McGraw believes that these two new tutoring experiences will improve the student experience and will serve as innovations in the path towards keeping the University at its #1 ranking, all at a reduced cost.

The center has asked The Daily PrintsAnything to include that tickets for the showings are available now until the center is completely shut down in favor of digital showings in January 2026. In that case, tickets will be available online for a discounted price.

Paige Baker is a contributing Humor writer whose very serious news pieces keep ending up in the Humor section. She can be reached at pb1103@princeton.edu.