Headliners & Headshakers

1. Kathleen Deignan solicits nominations for Pyne Prize; I eat peanut butter directly out of jar while watching “Gossip Girl”

2. Intersections discusses how to give beauty routine a 'facelift'; I continue eating peanut butter directly out of jar while watching“Gossip Girl”

3. Columnists call for Princeton women to “lean in”; female students take one look at USG and go, “Yeah, no thanks.”

4. Challenge to Dinky move goes to court; official complaint reads "But, like ... it's so farrrr :(("

5. Standard & Poor's gives town of Princeton AAA rating, rest of world gives Princeton "bougie" rating of AAAAAAAAAAA

6. Turner Construction did not request demolition permit for Dinky canopy, making Dinky canopy collapse longest and most boring saga of all time