Ask the Sexpert: Squirting struggles

Dear Sexpert,

What is squirting? Is it pee or cum? Is it real? What happens if I squirt before she does?

— Super Soaker

Dear Super Soaker,

Squirting doesn’t just happen in porn. While historically thought to be “movie magic” that can’t be achieved in real life, it can happen to many people with vaginas. However, what you may have seen in porn is probably not an accurate representation of what squirting actually looks and feels like.

There are a couple different fluids that can come from the vagina during sex. When aroused, the blood flow to the vagina increases and pushes fluids to the vaginal walls. This natural lubrication is also known as “getting wet” and is different phenomenon from squirting. Squirting refers to an involuntary expulsion of a colorless, odorless fluid. It is often associated with a gushing feeling, and it can happen during, before, or after an orgasm. It is possible to release up to 10 ml of liquid or more, and some can experience multiple instances of squirting over a few minutes.

While squirting and peeing may involve a similar feeling, they are not the same. While research on the contents of the squirted fluid is limited, we know that only a small amount of urine can be found in fluids excreted during sex. The majority of the fluid comes from the Skene’s glands: the female prostate. The Skene’s glands are made of tissue similar to that of a clitoris. It’s believed that the glands release antimicrobial substances to prevent urinary tract infections.

Orgasms look and feel different depending on the person. Just because someone squirted while orgasming doesn’t mean that their orgasm was superior. Some people have squirted before while others have not, and some don’t know if they have or haven’t. The most important questions are about your experience throughout the process. Am I fulfilled with the sex that I am having? Am I confident with the sex that I am having? Do I need or want anything to change? Make sure that you and your partner are checking in with each other, allowing both parties to advocate for their wants and needs. Have fun with it and don’t be discouraged by your orgasm looking different from someone else’s.

If you have more questions about squirting or other sexual health and wellness topics, come to the Frist Health Center to learn in a supportive space. If you’d like to meet with a medical provider to discuss concerns, you can visit the Sexual Health and Wellness website.

— The Sexpert

The Sexpert is a monthly column written in collaboration between The Prospect and the Peer Health Advisers (PHA) program. For more information, you can visit the Sexpert’s website. If you are interested in submitting a question, you can send it through this form: tinyurl.com/princetonsexpert.