The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
Following the PDF deadline, the University announced, via a series of emails from residential college directors of study that PDF will no longer stand for Pass/D/Fail.
“Through the Pretty Darn Funny grading option, students will be awarded a passing grade if they can make their professor laugh out loud, or at least roll their eyes (but in an amused way),” read the emails.
According to the emails, this change is meant to reward students who take classes purely for entertainment, students who go into class with the sole purpose of befriending their instructors, and students who perform so badly that their professors snort in surprise and concern.
“I can’t wait for this. I’m the most hilarious person I know,” said Cam Median ’24, who is described by most of his peers as “painfully cringe and remarkably unfunny.”
Sari Ous ’23 said, “I wish they had informed us of this change before the deadline. I find that Princeton is no place for laughter. I am here to learn, not to enjoy, and I can only hope my professors find their teaching as unamusing as I find my learning.”
Most students said that they feel positively towards this new policy and expect to be able to make their professors laugh at least once in order to pass their classes.
“They don’t know what they’re in for,” said Tickle Me-Elmo ’25, holding a feather in each hand.
Liana Slomka is a head Humor editor, who just freaked out and double checked that she had actually PDF-ed her class before the deadline, even though she’s never made a professor laugh ever.