There was a certain magic to frosh week. We all remember the feeling, whether like me, this year’s was your first, or whether you’ve experienced it from the enlightened perspective of a frosh week veteran. However, time has passed and that magic is now gone, the unique sensation that permeated the week now a distant memory. What changed? Well, an inundation of problem sets, essays and other responsibilities that prohibit daily prolific consumption of alcohol to start. But, there’s something else.
There is a stark difference between the social dynamic of Princeton in the first weeks of the year and in the weeks that follow. This difference is in the way we approach each other, specifically people we don’t know yet, and our generally declining openness to interact with people we don’t already regard as familiar.
Through the first fortnight of this year, it was socially acceptable, even encouraged, to strike up a friendly chat with a stranger. Any seat in the dining hall was fair game. Every face was an open book, and the campus vibe beckoned and called for us to start reading. For freshmen, over those days we met more people than we could possibly remember and did so with no fear of being social intruders. Even upperclassmen, who already know a great multitude of people, had the opportunity to meet a new class of undergraduates and even some of their own class in the free-for-all environment in the early days of fall semester. I remember marveling at the wealth of experience and diversity in our student body. How much I would learn; how many new interests I might discover! I remember being grateful that I had four years to be immersed in the people of this university.
The difference now, simply, is that it’s harder to meet people. Interactions with random people tend to be courteous and shallow. Many will sit alone rather than join a group of new people, for fear of being an unwelcome interruption. A chat in class rarely strays beyond class discussion. Yes, we do meet new people every day, but how often do we really pay attention?
It’s our loss. Half the perk of being at a place like Princeton is the chance to be surrounded by people who have as much to teach you as your professors. This campus provides an opportunity for the live, instantaneous sharing and cultivation of ideas between brilliant people. It provides us with the chance to find in others traits, abilities and experiences that we may be inspired to instill in ourselves. It provides a chance for us to share and develop all that we have to offer, with a new, receptive and capable audience. We might as well be taking college online in a public library if we fail to capitalize on this privilege.
There are obvious reasons why these social barriers may emerge. Of course, our community is subject to fairly logical and clearly set divisions. Between class years, sports teams, cocurricular clubs and residential colleges, many of us have our own little clique. These relationships are important. I’m not saying that we should be making new best friends every day, if that’s even possible. However, we seem to fall into the comfortable yet detrimental trap of socializing only with the friends we already have, friends likely to be found within convenience.
It may also simply come down to the fact that we’re so busy, our spare time so scarce, that even socialization must be strictly scheduled and thus we are less open to any random social experience (in our eyes, an adversity). In living like this, we make ourselves unapproachable.
Perhaps it’s just a case of pluralistic ignorance; we all believe that no one’s interested, and thus we don’t try strike up new conversations, exacerbating the sensation that no one’s interested. It seems to take a catalyst like frosh week to snap us back into the belief that we’re all actually quite excited to be around each other.
The change that needs to occur is not a shift toward having many shallow friendships instead of a few deep ones, but rather a change toward a less cliquey, exclusive vibe. At a time when the ethical obligations of an intellectual community are being debated, we have the opportunity to enhance our intellectual and social community on a more basic level. How would Princeton be different if we held on to that social activity and openness of frosh week? Who knows who we’d meet, what we’d discover, what we’d create.
Sam Parsons is a freshman from Wangaratta, Australia. He can be reached at samueljp@princeton.edu.
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