A study published on Thursday in the Journal of Basic Anthropology found that 70 percent of individuals who are popularly branded as “basic white chicks,” more colloquially known as “bwbs,” are not white. The research showed that the most recognizable symptoms of a bwb—thinking Uggs are effective snow boots, demonstrating an uncanny necessity for Starbucks-brand caffeine, speaking as though everything is a simile —are not unique to Caucasians.
In fact, nonwhite basic white girls are outraged at the unjust nature of such a title since being white is ostensibly a prerequisite to being crowned a bwb. Why is such a privilege only granted to white girls when I, being an Iranian, aspire for such a status, too? Why do only white girls get to be basic? “Whiteness” is a social construction that promotes inequity, and our valuation must change in order to return to our core values of egalitarianism. If we don’t discriminate against Uggs based on the color of the boot, then it is undeniably hypocritical to discriminate against basic girls based on the color of their skin. We demand equal opportunity in the eyes of society.
And in the eyes of the law. This is yet another instance of unfair discrimination based on race —a blatant violation of our protected rights and liberties under the Civil Rights Act and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. Everyone must be treated fairly and impartially, regardless of race or skin color. Hence, anyone should be able to receive such a basic epithet, if they warrant the title.
Times have changed. Likewise, so have our demographics. Not a day need go by frappuccino-free in Seoul, the most Starbucks-filled city. Sales have grown rapidly in China and in the Asia-Pacific region —faster than in any other region, and in South Korea, the determination to prove themselves equally capable (and equally basic) has reached unprecedented levels, so much so that they had to be curbed so as to protect the well-being of zealous selfie-takers. Too many have gone to great measures to demonstrate their capabilities, losing their lives in such brave undertakings, which inevitably led to a banning of the selfie stick in the country. Similarly, Iranians have realized that basicness offers a much-needed reprieve from the austerity of daily life. Yoga pants have become a basic asset, with many attending yoga classes every week across the Middle East. Behold: the revolution of the new basic nonwhite white chick.
But then, what about our brothers? Can a man not be a bwb, let alone a nonwhite man? Once again, the social construction of gender has infringed upon our basic liberties and rights —the fundamental right to be basic. We remain oblivious to this flagrant act of sexism. Basic men remain in the shadows, too wary of speaking up out of ineradicable fear of being faced with angry bwbs who refuse to speak their minds beyond the occasional “ugh,” or even worse, out of fear of being barraged with angsty subtweets laden with cliché lyrics.
This is a revolution. I, the basic Persian girl, am instigating change. I am demanding fair and equal treatment of all the basic individuals in the world. The “basic white girl” is an antiquated, anachronistic term that must be updated. We must demand justice or else the basic white girl’s voice will rise above ours. Her “can’t even's” will evolve into “can even’s” while we remain in fetters.
The struggle is, in fact, real.
Sarah Sakha is a freshman from Scottsdale, Ariz. She can be reached at ssakha@princeton.edu.
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