Ask the Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,

I just started hooking up with people this year after my boyfriend and I broke up. I also went off the pill because I didn’t like how the hormones were making me feel. I had gotten used to not using a condom because my ex-boyfriend and I were both tested and clean, and I think sex feels better without one. I’ve been letting my partners pull out instead, so they don’t actually ejaculate inside me. My roommate noticed I don't have any condoms in my bedroom and said she was concerned about my being safe while hooking up. However, isn’t withdrawal safe as long as my partner stops with plenty of time before he ejaculates?

— Single and Mingling

Dear Mingling,

You may want to consider other potential risks of not wearing a protective barrier, like sexually transmitted infections. You and your ex-boyfriend may have been screened for STIs, but your new partners might not have been tested recently, or they may try to conceal their STI status, for whatever reason. Unless you and your partners have been tested for STIs recently and tested negative, you should continue to use a barrier method of protection. If you are engaging in sexual acts, whether oral, vaginal or anal, with multiple partners, it’s especially important to use protection to lower risk of STI transmission. Many common STIs don’t present any symptoms at all, so transmission is possible without even knowing it.

As for preventing pregnancy, the withdrawal method isn’t the most effective, even when practiced perfectly. Since pre-ejaculate is released during arousal, if you and your partner are engaging in oral, vaginal or anal intercourse, your mucous membranes are exposed to his pre-ejaculate. Not only is pre-ejaculate a carrier of potential infections, but it can also contain sperm.

Furthermore, it can be difficult to practice the withdrawal method reliably. It’s shown to be 96 percent effective with correct and consistent use, but only 78 percent effective with typical use, which includes incorrect and inconsistent use. This disparity relies on the difficulty of the penetrative partner being able to recognize when he is nearing ejaculation and being able to withdraw in time, something that can be difficult to maintain awareness of in the moment. Because it requires such trust and self-discipline, as well as knowledge of your and your partner’s bodies, it can be difficult to perform correctly with partners you aren’t as familiar with. If alcohol or other substances are used, it can be even more difficult for the male partner to react accurately. Failure to withdraw in time, of course, could result in unintended pregnancy.

If your previous hormonal method of contraception was causing you problems, there are plenty of alternatives. You could try other forms of the birth control pill. Each one has slightly different hormone levels and forms, as well as various inactive ingredients that react differently with your body. If you are interested in long-term contraception, you might consider ParaGard, the non-hormonal, copper intrauterine device. Available at McCosh Health Center, it can prevent pregnancy for up to 10 years. Other forms of non-hormonal contraception, such as the diaphragm, cervical cap or sponge — all of which can be used in conjunction with spermicide — can be obtained at McCosh as well. You can also make an appointment at Sexual Health and Wellness Services and explore contraceptive options to find the one that works best for your body and lifestyle.

— The Sexpert