1) Tweeting lewd photos a la Weinergate.
2) Running on a platform of legalizing marijuana.
ADVERTISEMENT
3) Exposing corruption in the Eisgruber administration and fleeing to Russia.
4) Running a literal smear campaign and slathering the other candidates with marmalade.
5) Posting annoyingly political statuses on Facebook.
6) Securing an endorsement from former Dean of the College Nancy Malkiel.
7) Overthrowing the bourgeois USG and announcing a dictatorship of the proletariat.
8) Being Republican.
ADVERTISEMENT
9) Being anyone who considered Yale. Just forget it.
10) Leaving out one of three essential candidacy documents.

Get the best of the ‘Prince’ delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe now »