Q: What Princeton sports are you guys most passionate about?
Michael Katz: During the fall and winter, we choose one team that we’ll bank it all on for that season. So last winter, we chose men’s squash, and of course they were national champs. This past fall, we chose women’s field hockey, and naturally, they also won a national title. As of now, we represent both men’s and women’s squash for the winter season.
Ben Quazzo: We take the spring off to zone in on our enthusiastic rituals for the tennis team.
Q: When did you guys start passionately pursuing Princeton sports?
BQ: In high school, I was a big sports fan and wore colored suits to a lot of our high school’s games. So I brought two orange suits to college with me, and fortunately found Mike, who shares an equal enthusiasm for Princeton sports.
MK: Our first game together was an away basketball game against Penn over Intersession. Quazzo’s mom thought he was resting in his dorm because he had mono, until his mom heard from a friend that she saw two Princeton students dressed in colored suits at the game in Philly.
Q: What event did you two make the biggest difference at?
MK: No doubt, our biggest difference came during the national championship game for the men’s squash team. By now, Coach Callahan knows the winning legacy we’ve bestowed upon the team. If he doesn’t take us on the team when we walk on for squash next year, I’ll take my business elsewhere.
BQ: I’d like to announce that come next fall, I will be challenging for a starting spot on the men’s squash team. I think it’d be great to replace [senior] Todd Harrity and take the glory on the court for myself.
Q: Who attracts more ladies in the crowd?
BQ: I like to think it’s an even trade-off. But at the end of the day, the ladies can’t help but see my chiseled six-pack through the orange suit. I’m OK admitting that Katz has a better-looking face.
MK: I’d like to mention that I also have a better-looking butt by far.
Q: Who wins in a singles match between the two of you?
BQ: Seeing as Katz has been injured since 1996, I’d say that I’d probably win the match. But we like to think of ourselves as equal. We are currently the only undefeated members in dual matches on the tennis team who’ve been through a full season.
Q: Any pre-game rituals or strategy before heading into the bleachers?
MK: We occasionally organize small gatherings. We’re not afraid to hold back under the veil of anonymity.
BQ: We try to find a centralized location. Then we come in as a mob. Intimidation is huge for us when we arrive at sporting events.
Q: You both obviously had a lot of Division I offers to root for other schools. What made you commit to Princeton?
MK: It was tough, but for us, it came down to Michigan, Kansas and Princeton. Our problem with Kansas was that they only had basketball, but no football. Michigan tried offering us Adidas gear, so that was an automatic no-go. So Princeton was the only solid choice.
Q: What happens when one of you can’t make an event?
BQ: We’ll never do a one-man show. Princeton suffered its worst athletic weekend this past weekend while I was away with the tennis team and Mike was on campus, and the poor performances were obviously due to our separation.
Q: Have you ever had a bad outing at a Princeton sporting event?
BQ: No.
MK: Never. We’ve turned a sterile sporting atmosphere into one of the best in the country.
Q: What comes to mind when you describe yourselves?
Quazzo: GOAT (greatest of all time), best ever at what we do and humble. We can’t wait for Princeton alums to name their kids after us. Ultimately, we really do all of this for the kids; everyone needs a role model, so we see our fandom as a form of community service.
Q: Have you ever been yelled at by officials or opposing fans?
MK: Opposing fans often yell at us. We straddle the line between being classy and being emotional. I consider myself a modern-day Ron Artest.
BQ: If officials and opposing fans don’t have problems with us, then we’re not doing our job.
Q: Any comments on the orange suits?
MK: In the spring, we’re looking to revamp our suits with headgear and other accessories. More details to come.
BQ: As much as I love squash and field hockey, it’s tough watching the sport because we can only see 5-10 feet in front of us. So we’re looking to improve our visibility from the suits.
Q: What’s the status on the cutout head of [senior women’s squash player] Julie Cerullo?
MK: We can’t talk about it now, we’re getting too emotional.
Q: What’s your relationship with the women’s tennis team?
MK: No comment.
BQ: I didn’t know we had a women’s tennis team.
Q: What are your greatest tennis accomplishments?
BQ: I went to 14-and-under Nationals back in middle school. I didn’t win a single match, but I came out with the sportsmanship award.
MK: I don’t have a greatest accomplishment, but my most embarrassing experience came when I lost to Quazzo in a tournament when we were in high school. I remember thinking to myself, “How could I lose to somebody that bad?”
Q: Is there anything else that we should know about you guys?
MK: Well, we’re in the midst of waiting for statues to be built in our honor outside of Jadwin [Gymnasium].
BQ: Some of the great Princeton athletes have their numbers retired. Our hope is that the color orange will be retired in our honor once we graduate.
MK: Public Service Announcement: If you see any other person wearing an orange suit on campus, we are not accountable for his/her actions. They are imposters, but imitation is the greatest form of flattery. NCAA regulations will crack down on them.
Q: Hardest part of being on the tennis team?
BQ: Signing autographs, obviously. It’s really tough saying no to hot babes and little kids when your hand is cramping.
MK: All of the injuries I suffer from fans mobbing me.
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