Sexpert: April 26, 2012

Dear Sexpert,

I’m a girl who likes girls, and the one I’m with now is pretty wonderful. The only thing is she likes to play around with sugary substances when she goes down on me: honey and lollipops on my vag, for example. It makes me feel unclean. How can I convince her to skip dessert?

— No Sweet Tooth

Dear Sweet,

Your girlfriend happens to be into food play, a kink that’s especially common the way she practices it. Anyone who has ever heard of edible underwear or wearing whipped cream as lingerie will be familiar with the concept. Using a little bit of a sweetness during oral sex, whether it’s performed on a woman or a man, is done by many people who find the act more appealing or exciting that way. This is part of the reason why flavored condoms and dental dams exist.

If you do it right, it’s possible to use sugary foods during sex and just get sticky. However, food play done wrong can lead to some very unpleasant reactions, especially for women. Giving someone an erotic massage with chocolate sauce or maple syrup is messy but safe; the problem comes when food products are used internally.

Our bodies are only designed to take food into our mouths. If that maple syrup or chocolate sauce enters the vagina, it can throw off the natural balance of your body. In the course of researching your question, I learned that the fungus Candida, which causes yeast infections, thrives on sugar, so your risk of developing one increases drastically if any of that syrup gets inside you rather than just on you. Putting food in your vagina can also push its pH outside of a healthy range, making you more vulnerable to other kinds of infections.

You can avoid these risks by keeping the sweet stuff on the surface or by buying products that are labeled sugar-free. A lot of erotic toy stores sell edible paints and flavored lubricants that are safe to use in a variety of sex acts. Check out Babeland.com’s “Edible Treats” page for some examples. Be aware, though, that not all chocolates or syrups marketed in a sexual context are sugar-free and that many edible lubes contain oils that react badly when used with latex condoms.

This point is especially crucial: Latex can be ruined by the wrong kind of lubricant, and a ruined condom does not protect against pregnancy or STIs. Make sure you read the labels before you use anything, and make sure not to use any foods to which you or your partner might have an allergy.

So you’re not wrong that food play can be unhygienic, Sweet. But it can also be perfectly safe, as long as you’re careful, pay attention to ingredients and use the products correctly. I hope that the above information helps make your sex life safer and more fun. However, if that sticky feeling still does not appeal to you, it’s important that you mention it to your partner. It’s possible that the sweet stuff is superfluous to her pleasure or that you can find a compromise that satisfies you both. Whatever you decide to do, be happy and healthy.

— The Sexpert

Interested in Sexual Health? The Sexpert is always looking for passionate members of the community to join the team of sexual health educators who, along with fact-checking from University health professionals, help write these columns. Email sexpert@dailyprincetonian.com for more information, and, of course, with your questions about sexual health. Don’t be shy!