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Top ten things to do in line at Hoagie Haven

1. Fat people tipping.

2. Tell people how dirty your Sanchez is going to be.

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3. Challenge a stranger to a speed-eating contest.

4. Calculate how many minutes of treadmill time you'll need to work this off.

5. Buy a Hoagie Haven T-shirt.

6. Steal a high school kid's lunch money.

7. Give your belly a pep talk.

8. Pre-emptively  name your food baby.

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9. Feed an independent student with your leftovers.

10. Unbutton your pants. 

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