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Street's Top Ten: Oct. 8, 2009

1. Wear horse blinders.

2. Never give directions to anyone. Especially if they are naked.

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3. Carry a parrot trained to scream, "Indecent exposure!" 

4. Learn karate. 

5. Or just walk around wearing a black belt. 

6. Train a pack of squirrels to follow you around and attack on command. 

7. Get swine flu. 

8. Pretend you're hiking, and carry a big stick. 

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9. Just don't confuse it for his big stick. 

10. Or not so-big stick. 

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