Saturday, September 20

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The Lawnparties Lineup: From Gym Class to Mercury

Cap & Gown Club: The Dean Dollar Band (from 1 p.m.)

"Whoooaaaa cocktail!" proclaims the very '80s-looking website for The Dean Dollar Band, playing at Cap this weekend. Strangely enough, "Dean Dollar" is actually the name of the band's front man, not just some silly-sounding alliteration - and apparently Dean likes guitars a lot, describing himself modestly as "a master of his instrument." Southern rock in the tradition of Lynyrd Skynyrd is the man's forte, so for all of you still pining to hear "Free Bird" live, this is your chance.  

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YouTube it: Dean Dollar - "South's Gonna Do It Again"

Charter Club: Virginia Coalition (from 1:30 p.m.)

Their website may look like an ad for "Deadwood," but the Virginia Coalition's gleaming, hook-heavy frat rock would be a disastrous fit for the show. With albums like "Rock & Roll Party" and songs like "Sing Along," seriousness clearly isn't high on the list of the band's ambitions, but the smack-a-smile-on-your-face choruses are a plus, and hey, it's Lawnparties anyway: Nine Inch Nails isn't what you're after on a sweaty Sunday in May. If you found yourself enraptured by the blander-than-thou sounds of Lawnparties alumni like Howie Day and Sister Hazel, then Charter is definitely the place for you. 

YouTube it: Virginia Coalition - "That's What You Said"

Cloister Inn: The B-Street Band (from 2 p.m.)

Another Lawnparties, another punnily-named cover band. Last year 2U was here to blare some Irish lovin'. This year, we've got The B-Street Band, which will be peddling tunes a bit closer to home. Yeah, you guessed it: It's the Boss (the original Boss, that is, not Slim Thug or Rick Ross or any of those other rappers trying to nab the title). Modeling yourself on one of the most renowned live bands in the world is no small feat, but as long as The B-Street Band spent as much time on their music as they did on their name, we should be fine. Expect a run-down of Garden State classics, from baby-boomer anthems ("Born in the USA") to presidential theme songs ("The Rising"). 

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YouTube it: Bruce Springsteen - "Born to Run"

Colonial Club: LiveWire (from 1:30 p.m.)

The pun may be less inventive than usual, but don't let that deter you; AC/DC cover band LiveWire will be rockin' listeners' socks off regardless. After two years of soggy emo and dated pop-punk, it'll be nice to have some proper fist-pumping classics, and that's something this set will have no problem with. "You Shook Me All Night Long"? "Thunderstruck"? "Back in Black," performed to a drunken sea of pastel, seersucker and khaki? Can't wait. And since the original band is getting a little tubby around the waist, why not have some hot 20-somethings instead - I doubt the singer will be able to top Brian Johnson's animalistic snarl, but seeing a 61-year old Johnson sweating it out on the Colonial lawn isn't high on my list of priorities. A tongue-in-cheek rendition of "Highway to Hell" would be nice too. 

YouTube it: AC/DC - "It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n' Roll)"

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Cottage Club: Sweetbriar (from 2 p.m.) 

If you like drinking, then Cottage might be the place for you: Sweetbriar, the club's Lawnparties band, seem to be certified alcoholics, if their MySpace page is anything to go by. Jack Daniels and cocktails are featured in their profile picture, their EP is called "The Hangover Sessions," and their band logo screams "Line 'em up, throw 'em down!" Sounds like they'll be given a hearty welcome on this most sober of days. 

YouTube it: Sweetbriar - "Line 'Em Up"

Ivy Club: Almost Queen (from 1:30 p.m.)

Certainly the worst-named cover band hitting up the Street on Sunday, Almost Queen are, you guessed it, a Queen cover band. Gold star for that one. Pat on the back. What's funny, though, is that even the real Queen aren't really Queen; since front man extraordinaire Freddie Mercury kicked the bucket almost 20 years ago, the surviving band members are the real Almost Queens. But enough rambling - this is actually pretty exciting. Sure, Ivy tongue may be stuck desperately deep within Ivy cheek with this one, but I can't really imagine any better set-list for an outdoor sing-along than Queen's. And even though Mercury-impersonator Joseph Russo does seem to have some trouble hitting the high notes (just check out his falsetto-straining on MySpace), he's certainly taken Freddie's flamboyance to heart - expect goofy facial hair and extraordinarily tight trousers. And "Bohemian Rhapsody," or I'm suing.

YouTube it: Queen - "We Are the Champions"

Quadrangle Club: Gym Class Heroes (from 3 p.m.) 

I think everything has been said about this one. Not as bad as New Found Glory (then again, what is?), not as good as T-Pain (then again, what is?), the general attitude towards Gym Class Heroes seems to be an indifferent "meh." Still, they should be pretty energetic performers (see right), and surely emo-rap can't sound quite as bad in practice as it does in theory. Well, maybe it can: Lil' Wayne's recent attempt, "Prom Queen," is perhaps the most unlistenable song ever to hit the mainstream, and though I'm not accusing these Phys. Ed. champions of the same, their mammoth single "Cupid's Chokehold" is no masterpiece either. I mean, the only catchy bit of the song is lifted wholesale from Supertramp, and that's never a good thing. Anyway, point is: They're no Lupe. Let's donate this one.

YouTube it: Gym Class Heroes - "Cookie Jar" 

Tiger Inn: Right Food Red (from 3 p.m.) 

Playing at TI on Sunday are Right Foot Red, a group of middle-aged men with receding hairlines who look suspiciously like I-bankers. Fear not though, for they describe themselves enthusiastically as the "ultimate party band," regularly performing at such hardcore venues as corporate events and weddings. I wish I could give you more details as to what in the hell they sound like, but apparently they cover everything from '70s disco to '80s pop to modern rock, so it's difficult to pin them down. All I can safely say is you'll recognize most of these songs, and you'll probably be singing along to them too, loudly and off-key. 

YouTube it: The Bee Gees? Phil Collins? Your guess is as good as mine. 

Terrace Club: Stone's Throw Tour (from 5 p.m.) 

Older than the usual Terrace Lawnparties band and certainly shorter on guitars, the classic hip-hop record label Stones Throw takes residence on Terrace's back patio from 5 pm onwards. So if Gym Class Heroes are too poppy for you and you're on the search for some real old-school beats, this looks like the place to be. True, the label's underground superstar MF Doom won't be making an appearance, but its founder, the DJ and producer Peanut Butter Wolf, will be providing the concert's highlight with a sundown VJ set. Nothing sexual, don't you worry - it stands for video jockey, basically the equivalent of a DJ for the YouTube generation. Accompanied by up-and-coming label-mates James Pants, Mayer Hawthorne and Dam-Funk, Peanut Butter Wolf will undoubtedly be spinning some sensational hip hop, proof that there's life in the West Coast yet (cue arguing). And the best part? Because it starts so late, you won't have every other band on the street blaring loudly in the background, you won't be sweating buckets, and you won't even have to skip Gym Class (Heroes)! 

YouTube it: Peanut Butter Wolf - "Run the Line" (feat. Rasco) 

Tower Club: Mates of State (1 p.m.) and Apples in Stereo (3 p.m.)

Considering last year's Tower performer was most well-known for his contribution to the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" soundtrack, it's a pleasant surprise to find that Tower might be packing this year's most potent line-up. Playing first is the indie-pop duo Mates of State, who are the best kind of mates: They're married! And band members Kori Gardner and Jason Hammel miss no opportunity to let everyone know how much they love each other - all you need to do is look at a publicity photo of the pair or listen to 30 seconds of their music. Still, as long as they don't bring the PDA onto the Tower stage, they should provide an appropriately sunshiny set. Following at 3 p.m. are the retro-rockers Apples in Stereo, also irrepressibly (some might say intolerably) optimistic. With strong shades of the Beatles and the Beach Boys, Apples in Stereo may have an odd name, but their melodies are indestructibly catchy, and you'll probably be singing along from the second chorus. All in all, a solid lineup if ever I saw one; the only mystery is this: Why aren't these guys playing at Terrace? 

YouTube it: Mates of State - "Get Better"; Apples in Stereo - "Energy"