Though many University students spend Saturday nights out on the Street in search of their next hookups, Peter — a gay undergraduate — has found a safer and more discreet meeting place. Peter, whose name has been changed to protect his privacy, said that during his time at Princeton, he has hooked up with “about three guys” he met through posting personal ads on Craigslist.
On a campus that Peter said is “less accepting of gay life” than Harvard or Yale, some gay Princeton students like Peter turn to online venues like Craigslist in search of sexual partners. Posts on the site dating back one month showed 176 results matching the search criteria “Princeton,” “18-30” and “men-seeking-men.” Thirty of these results included the word “student,” and many others made reference to the campus or the University in some other fashion. A similar search on the site for Harvard students yielded just nine posts, while one for Yale students generated 22 responses.
And at Princeton, the same demographics for “men-seeking-women,” “women-seeking-men” and “women-seeking-women” revealed no results explicitly linked to the University.
Peter, who began using the site after he broke up with his boyfriend during his sophomore year, noted that Princeton does not provide many social opportunities for gay students.
“There aren’t any gay social events, gay clubs, chances to meet other gay guys,” he said in an e-mail. “[Craigslist] offers you a way to meet other guys who are looking for … no-strings-attached fun.”
Debra Bazarsky, the director of the LGBT Center, noted there was limited research on gay and bisexual men’s online cruising behavior. She cited a 2004 study on this topic titled “Where Young MSM Meet their First Sexual Partner: The Role of the Internet” which found that “more than half of participants went to cruising sites to find sexual partners, to have contact with others, [out of] boredom, and [because] they found it entertaining or exciting.”
In another 2004 study, researchers found that when online, the majority of men — 60 percent — are looking for friendship, while 50 percent are seeking casual sex partners and 42 percent are seeking a boyfriend, partner or lover.
The privacy provided by online sites like Craigslist is one of their primary appeals, Peter said, noting that it can be “dangerous” for male students to make out with other guys on the Street.
“I’ve been kicked out of both Cottage and TI (by student ‘officers’ or at least people claiming to be officers) for dancing/making out with another male,” he explained. “The problem is, the Street (excepting Ivy and Terrace) provides a poor environment for meeting other guys. So you have to turn to other outlets.”
He added that he thinks the administration has done a great job of making the University a “sexual-preference neutral environment,” but he also explained that student culture is less accepting of gay public displays of affection.
“The message really becomes: We accept you for being gay, but just don’t let me see you being ‘gay,’ ” he said.
Bazarsky, citing a 2003 study performed by Tikkanen and Ross, said many gay students may use online forums like Craigslist because they do not wish to disclose their sexuality publicly.
“One third of frequent [gay] users [seeking men online] in their study indicated they were very closed” and another quarter were “quite closed” about their sexual identity, she noted, adding that 80 percent of frequent users were not involved in LGBT organizations.
Peter also attributed some of the popularity of anonymous sites to how many gay students at Princeton are not open about their sexuality.
“Even if the Street was the most welcoming and open place on earth, some guys are just in the closet and need a discreet avenue for pursuing their sexual desires,” he said. “While the means may be a little shady … the impulse is totally human; what 20-year-old male doesn’t want to get laid?”
Peter, who is openly gay on campus, added that many of his family members do not know that he is gay.
Many of the online posts specifically ask that respondents be discreet, and several posters even note that they have not come out to their friends and family.
One post, titled “Closet Case lol-21,” reads, “hey guys never done this before but hell, why not? I play sports at Princeton but im not out (hence the title).”
Another, called “Fun in Firestone,” describes a “Senior looking for fun in Firestone or maybe somewhere else after midnight.”
The user instructs, “Be a PU undergrad and discreet.”
Peter noted that discretion is one of the key elements of online hookup culture.
“I think [Craigslist] offers a lot of guys a chance to enjoy the company of another male … without running the risk of being stigmatized by friends/family,” he said. “It’s sad, really. But it’s a reflection of the culture in which we live that a male who wishes to be with another male has to, in some cases, be on the ‘down low’ about it … If a straight male making out with a girl was looked upon with disgust, how many straight guys do you think would soon be using Craigslist?”
Bazarsky noted that the University has, in fact, attempted to reach out to the gay community on campus by using some of these same online forums.
“About a year ago, we started occasionally posting information about the LGBT Center on Craigslist in hopes of reaching out to closeted students to let them know that there is a vibrant and active community on campus,” she explained.
But because discretion is so highly valued by Craigslist users, it can be uncomfortable when they encounter each other on campus, Peter explained.
“Personally, there have been a few times when I’ve run into a guy I’ve hooked up with by using Craigslist and there is that awkward glance,” he said, adding that though many of the students who post personal ads on Craigslist use very sexually explicit language, Peter said he tried to avoid this.
“When I used to post, I tried to be straightforward regarding what I wanted (sex), but didn’t want to come off as a sleaze,” he said. “Sleaziness attracts sleazy people. And I didn’t want that.”
Peter said that while Craigslist users were often very secretive about their identities, it was more common for students to be forthcoming about their real identities on some other sites, including gay.com and manhunt.com. Craigslist users often exchange photos, but not of ones of their faces, he added.
“There have been a few times that I’ve not gone through with a meeting based upon someone’s pics,” he said. “I do have standards, after all.”
Read More
Lawsuits filed against University after cybersecurity incidents
Shaun KaraniMultiple lawsuits have been filed against Princeton in the wake of a widespread cybersecurity breach.
Multiple lawsuits have been filed against Princeton in the wake of a widespread cybersecurity breach.
Israeli consulate visits Princeton to discuss experience of Jewish students, follows Tsurkov release
Luke GrippoFor the first time since the 2024 “Gaza Solidarity Encampment” at Princeton, Yuval Donio Gideon, head of the Public Policy Department of the Consulate General of Israel in New York, met with University administrators and campus rabbis to discuss the experience of Israeli and Jewish students on campus.
For the first time since the 2024 “Gaza Solidarity Encampment” at Princeton, Yuval Donio Gideon, head of the Public Policy Department of the Consulate General of Israel in New York, met with University administrators and campus rabbis to discuss the experience of Israeli and Jewish students on campus.
Trump administration announces new travel, visa restrictions in last days of semester
Luke GrippoNew travel restrictions announced by the Trump administration could impact international students returning to campus after break.
New travel restrictions announced by the Trump administration could impact international students returning to campus after break.