Ask The Sexpert — Dec. 4, 2008

Dear Sexpert, I know this may seem to be a kind of awkward question, but why do companies make non-lubricated condoms? It just doesn’t make sense to me… Thanks!

— Confused about Condoms

Dear Confused about Condoms,

Remember that condom companies make many different styles of condom simply because all have proven to be marketable and profitable. Non-lubricated condoms are the same: Companies make them because people buy them. The question then becomes, why do people buy non-lubricated condoms?

There are many possible answers to this question; here are just a few:

1. Allergies: Just as some people are allergic to latex — thus creating a market for non-latex condoms — people can also be allergic to the lubricant in condoms. Such people buy non-lubricated condoms to keep themselves and their partner safe while avoiding an allergic reaction.

2. Oral sex: As I hope you’ve already heard, using a barrier method of protection when performing oral sex on your partner is important for preventing the transmission of STIs. (It’s well known that herpes can be transferred from genitals to the mouth and back again, but did you know that it’s also possible to contract gonorrhea of the throat if you perform oral sex on someone with the infection?) It is highly preferable for a man to use a non-lubricated condom when his partner is performing oral sex on him, as lubricated condoms can leave an unpleasant taste in the partner’s mouth and, in some cases, cause the partner’s mouth to go numb due to a reaction to the chemicals in the lubricant.

3. Lack of need: Some women are able to produce enough self-lubrication that lubricated condoms are unnecessary for comfortable sexual intercourse. In some cases, the additional lubricant can make it harder for the couple to have enjoyable sexual intercourse because it reduces the inherent friction to such a degree that neither partner is stimulated, effectively or at all, by the other.

4. Desire to use other forms of lubrication: This is a newer addition, but with the recent creation of lubricants that do things other than just lubricate the genitalia, non-lubricated condoms have become increasingly popular. Examples of such lubricants are self-warming lubricants or lubricants that claim to cause a tingling sensation. Lubricants like His and Hers by KY work because of a chemical reaction between only the two lubricants provided, so the use of non-lubricated condoms is essential for the product to have its full effect.

5. Pleasure: While all of the above categories could fit under this heading, I thought that it was important to explicitly state that, for whatever reason, some couples find it more pleasurable to use non-lubricated condoms. If you would like to use non-lubricated condoms in your next sexual encounter with your partner, please be sure to talk to your partner first and to take precautions. Precautions may include a “safe word” to be spoken in case one partner begins to feel pain due to the lack of lubricant and additional forms of birth control since the condom’s latex is more likely to tear if there is not enough lubrication to prevent friction.It is important to talk with your partner about your choice of protection and, if you choose to use condoms, about your choice of condoms. Include your partner in all of your decisions, and I’m sure your sexual life will prove to be safe, happy and healthy.

— The Sexpert

Dear Sexpert, I’m visiting my boyfriend’s family for the first time this holiday season. Do you have any pointers?

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— Meeting the ’Rents

Dear Meeting the ’Rents,

Treat this as you would treat any occasion during which you are being introduced to important people: Dress to impress and mind your manners! Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through, but don’t bring up subjects that might be controversial. Let your boyfriend guide the conversation; I’m sure he’ll guide it to your strong suits, as he wants you to shine as well. If you are visiting their home, consider bringing a housewarming gift, a nice present for the whole family, such as homemade hors d’oeuvres or dessert. Above all, remember that they want to get to know you as much as you want to get to know them, and I’m sure your visit will be wonderful. Happy (almost) Holidays!

— The Sexpert