The gift of twisted quips

Donald Rumsfeld '54 resigned from his post as Secretary of Defense more than a year ago and returned to private life and has stayed quiet, even as voices around him have become quite loud.

He stepped down last November just after the 2006 elections but, other than the speech he gave that day, Rumsfeld said nothing.

In September, Stanford's Hoover Institution announced plans to give Rumsfeld a one-year visiting fellowship. Two thousand Stanford faculty signed a petition against the polarizing Republican considered by many to be a key figure in launching the war in Iraq. Rumsfeld still said nothing.

But he has lots to say, at least as a 12-inch plastic doll. Made by Irvine, Calif.-based Talking Presidents, the Donald Rumsfeld doll has gained momentum going into the holiday shopping season. Though the doll has been available since 2003, it has received renewed interest in the past few days due to recent press in The Washington Post and across the blogosphere.

During his time in the cabinet, Rumsfeld was known for his veiled and often hilarious comments at news conferences, many of which the talking doll can repeat.

The doll spouts 28 phrases in Rumsfeld's voice, including, "I believe what I said yesterday. I don't know what I said. But I know what I think. I assume that's what I said."

Another featured phrase elicits confusion in a wordier way: "There are known knowns, there are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns; that is to say, there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns, there are things we do not know we don't know; and each year we discover a few more of those unknown unknowns."

Talking Presidents co-founder Jim Wessling called the Rumsfeld doll one of the company's best creations. "It has more sound bites on it than anything else, and Rumsfeld has a great sense of humor," he said.

Wessling and John Warnock created the company in 2002 after coming up with the idea for a talking President Bush action figure. Since then, they have added 15 more characters.

First developed in December 2003, the Rumsfeld action figure is the company's fifth most popular doll, behind Bush, conservative pundit Ann Coulter and former presidents Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton.

Though Wessling and Warnock initially created the talking dolls for a right-wing demographic, they have increasingly been bought by liberals as gag gifts. Since an article about the dolls appeared in The Washington Post last Friday, their company has received 400 orders and is expecting a continued boost throughout the holiday season.

"The original demographics of our sales were obviously to the right," Wessling said. "But we have had a lot of orders from Washington Post readers, who are generally more liberal."

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Though Rumsfeld is one of the University's more prominent alumni, at least one student took a skeptical view of his commemoration in plastic. "I think the idea of the doll is somewhat funny, somewhat silly," College Democrats member David Christie '10 said in an email.

He added, however, that "Rumsfeld is a much scarier figure than Bush ... because he appears to be so much more intelligent, so I find it a bit odd to make a toy out of his sayings."

Progressive Nation editor James Coan '09 had not seen the doll before being asked about it for this story. Nonetheless, he seemed to like it.

"It looks very entertaining with all those 'Rummyisms,' " Coan said. "I don't think this is much different than the multitude of President Bush products on the market, many of which recount his verbal gaffes."

But, Coan added, "like President Bush, many of his substantive actions were less comical and more troubling than these memorable but relatively harmless statements."