Students mentor underprivileged children in local area

Drew Frederick '07 stood next to third-grader Isaiah on the sidelines of the fall Princeton-Dartmouth football game. For Isaiah, a local youth and avid sports fan, it was his second time to be immersed in the action of a live game.

"Isaiah had an expression of amazement and joy at seeing the enormous football players that were only a couple of feet away from him," Frederick said. And the excitement soared when Princeton won.

Frederick met Isaiah four years ago through the University Big Sibs program. This Student Volunteer Council group aims to create solid bonds between the Princeton students and the underprivileged local youth they mentor.

The program currently pairs 33 undergraduate mentors with children, offering the kids guidance and friendship in their sometimes poverty-stricken or tumultuous lives.

"Many of the little siblings ... have endured some significant loss in their family, often times a parent," Frederick said in an email. Frederick serves as a male role model for his 'little sib' Isaiah, who lives alone with his grandmother.

But Frederick — who was a Big Sibs program coordinator from fall 2004 to January 2007 — said the relationship is not one-sided. Princeton students gain lessons and memories from the friendships with their buddies.

Guidance counselors from five local schools work with the program leaders to make appropriate matches for sibling pairs. University Big Sibs coordinates with the Riverside, Johnson Park, Community Park and Littlebrook elementary schools and with John Witherspoon Middle School.

Big sibs are expected to set up one-on-one weekly or biweekly meetings with their buddies.

"There have been so many memories but definitely some of our best have been playing outside together," Frederick said. Their outings range from playing sports like street hockey, soccer, football and baseball to building dams in a nearby creek.

The group coordinators also organize trips to the local ice skating rink and the Outdoor Action rock-climbing wall on campus. The group will stage a bowling event this month.

Frederick said that the Big Sibs program has taught him how to be an effective mentor. "It is a hard role to play sometimes because it merges many different hats," he said, in reference to being a friend, teacher and disciplinarian.

"Juggling these various hats can be tricky, but over the years I have gained a better sense of when I should wear each one," Frederick said.

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Other students echoed Frederick's aspiration to positively impact the lives of their local buddies.

"I hope that my little brother has gained a confidant, and he feels like he has someone he wants to make proud," Kris Ekdahl '07 said in an email. "My goal is for him to think of me when he faces tough situations and isn't sure what to do."

Ekdahl said he was surprised when his little brother invited him to celebrate his 12th birthday with family and friends last year.

"It wasn't something I had expected to be invited to, but it meant a lot to me that he thought to include me on that list of friends and family," Ekdahl said, who has participated in the program for the past three years.

As a gift, Ekdahl gave a Princeton T-shirt, headband and wristbands to his buddy, who is a fan of Princeton basketball.

Ekdahl's memories of his time spent with his little sib will always be linked with his Princeton career. "When I was thinking of my graduation plans recently, for the first time I considered what it would be like to say bye to him, and it won't be easy," Ekdahl said.

But mentoring underprivileged youth can be harder than it looks. Frederick said one of the toughest moments with his buddy occurred when Isaiah stole candy from Ricky's candy store two years ago.

"I ... confronted him about it. He retorted that he had not put a piece of candy in his pocket," Frederick said.

After they left the store, Frederick had a long chat with Isaiah about the incident. Isaiah, who was seven at the time, then returned the candy. "He didn't really know why he had done it," Frederick said. "All I know is that that has not happened in my presence again ... and can only hope that the same is true when I am not there."

Princeton mentors paired with middle school students sometimes find it harder to forge a relationship with their buddies. Andy Wu '07 has known his 16-year-old sibling for three years, but they still lack a strong bond, he said.

"I hope he has gained something from this program because I often feel like my efforts are in vain," Wu said in an email. "I believe that deep down somewhere I have had a good influence on him, even though he is still disrespectful of authority."

Regardless of the rocky moments in the relationship, Wu said the friendship has taught him a valuable lesson.

"I have learned to be a lot more patient and persevering in dealing with a difficult individual," Wu said. "I've also come to appreciate poverty if only a little more."