In theory, admission to Princeton should leave students with a lifetime's supply of confidence, at least in their academic ability. What greater affirmation could an 18-year-old receive than an acceptance letter from a university that has consistently ranked first in the nation, offering an education of highest repute? But that's only in theory.
"I feel surrounded by really intelligent people and a professor who's marking down every time I speak for a grade," said Peyton Thompson '08, who is intimidated by small precepts or seminar-type classes. "I'm a soft-spoken person, and it's hard for me to voice my opinions in such a setting."
The unfortunate truth is that crises of confidence occur much more frequently among Princeton students than might be expected, especially where academic ability is concerned. Whether they happen every day, every week during that one particularly demanding class or only upon the occasional bathroom encounter with the math genius who lives next door, most of us can look back to at least one moment when we suffered from feelings of insufficiency.
Evan Kelly '10 said his academic woes sometimes arise in lecture, when "in physics or math, I stop paying attention for a minute and then look back at the board and have no idea what's going on."
According to Dr. Pamela Barnett, who head of directs the McGraw Center for Teaching and Learning, Kelly's intimidation can be quite typical of students his age. More than three-quarters of the students who come to her for assistance are underclassmen, she said.
Barnett said that crises of confidence among freshmen are often a result of the transition process from high school to college.
"I've run into it frequently: students who come to Princeton, and, maybe for the first time in their lives, make Bs — which are good grades! — and think that it means that they're not as smart."
Alice Garabrant '08 remembers feeling that way during her first year at college. "Because you haven't really proven yourself yet, you feel like you've gotten in but don't know how you measure up," she said. "I think in general [as a freshman] you're just more intimidated in all realms of life."
Garabrant believes that comfort increases with age. Learning to navigate the different departments, figuring out what to expect from different professors and grasping how to prepare for class and write papers — all struggles of freshman year — can do wonders for a young student's confidence, she said. She added that as her studies have become increasingly focused around her departmental requirements, she has "felt much more at ease" academically.
This does not mean, however, that moments of insecurity entirely disappear by the time graduation draws near. "Each academic year," Career Services director Beverly Hamilton-Chandler pointed out, "provides the opportunity for more comparisons based on class performance and grades, bicker results, choosing concentrations, finding internships, getting acceptances into graduate and professional schools or finding jobs."
For Dave Minnick '07, some of the familiar feelings of inadequacy returned this year in a graduate seminar.
"It was very clear to me that other students had studied the subject through independent work or in other courses," he said. "Sometimes I forgot I was smart enough to contribute, probably because I could not draw on the associated material that my classmates were referencing."
Barnett said that after freshmen, the second most common clientele at the McGraw Center are upperclassmen who are beginning a junior paper or senior thesis.
"Depending on the advisor or how hard they're being pushed, it's another academic challenge," she said. "And it can be demoralizing sometimes."
I, for one, experienced the "forgetting you're smart" phenomenon this summer, when, after a late start, I found summer employment elusive and the thought of finding permanent employment in less than two years frightening. One evening I found myself trying to justify my fears to a friend from home. I explained how competitive the job market had become, how there were so many other qualified students and how I knew that I had strengths, but what if they just weren't strong enough?
He looked at me with a face of disgust — stopping just short of knocking me upside the head — and said rather sarcastically, "Julia, you go to Princeton. I think you'll be fine."
When did "going to Princeton" become, for so many of us, not enough?
Many Princeton students come to college with plenty of confidence — perhaps even a little too much confidence, some would say. Used to excelling in most areas of life and fresh from the honors of college acceptance letters and graduation, it is easy for students to assume that this pattern of success will continue. But students and counselors alike attest to seeing that self-esteem crumble.
Is the academic climate too competitive and demanding of students? Has the cutthroat nature of the job market trickled down to create undue pressure on students to distinguish themselves on campus?
"I think that some classes here really expect quite a lot," Barnett said. "But it seems to me that people are up to it because students do well anyways."
Both Kelly and Garabrant said that the classroom culture does not feel overly competitive. Rather, the intimidation arises merely from being in a group of extremely capable, bright and motivated students.
"Sometimes I feel the dumbest when another classmate is trying to help me out!" Kelly said.
Not surprisingly, general sentiment pointed overwhelmingly to the overall concentration of high-quality students and professors as the source of crises of confidence among students. Because students arrive at Princeton by excelling and working hard and ultimately distinguishing themselves, the relative lack of distinction in the realm of higher education can be an adjustment. Where Princeton students often shine in high school, they blend in rather nicely on campus.
Many also agreed, however, that feeling academically inferior does not necessarily prove to be a negative thing. "Competition is an integral part of Princeton," Thompson said. "That's how we got in here and that's what we're trained to do in our futures. I can see the good in it."
Hamilton-Chandler also sees both good and bad in the competitive nature of Princeton. "For some students, the comparisons serve as motivation to become more involved, more active or simply to do better," she said. "For others, it is a terrible weight that drains energy and obstructs opportunity."
So, what to do when "forgetting you're smart" does inhibit what you can achieve?
First, take a deep breath and a reality check.
"Everyone knows they got in here for a reason, so they just need to remind themselves of that," Kelly said. "Chances are that if they haven't failed out yet then they aren't really at risk of failure."
Second, remember that there are good grades that do not begin with A.
"To hear some kids talk, you would think they were making Cs, when in fact they are making Bs!" Barnett said, adding that the biggest help she can often provide to students is a reminder that Bs are just fine.
Third, do not think that you are by any means alone in your insecurities.
Barnett said that students often come to her complaining that "they're the only one ... thinking they're slower than other students." Actually, she said, "it's fairly frequent."
"You're not always going to feel like the smartest person in the room, it's just not possible here," Garabrant said. "And if you do, well — you're one of the lucky few."
Finally, almost everyone interviewed agreed that the best way to combat crises of academic confidence was to adapt a positive and proactive mindset. Barnett recommended making a change, whether it be pursuing a new extracurricular, trying out different study skills or anything that will make you feel like you have more control over your gifts.
"Students spend more time looking at what others are doing than fully exploring their own dreams and interests," Hamilton-Chandler added. "Each student has to face the reality that their life is their own and that the decisions that they make only have to be right for them."
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