Before the start of this school year, Tiger Inn contacted Sexual Harassment/Assault Advising, Resources and Education (SHARE) in search of an educational program on sexual assault. This was the first time an eating club had approached SHARE, and I was thrilled that the club had taken an active interest in preventing sexual assault. Since then, the majority of sign-in and bicker clubs have requested that SHARE have similar programming for their clubs.
SHARE's collaboration with the eating clubs will hopefully prove invaluable during bicker and sign-ins week. This week is a stressful and risky time for sophomores, juniors and seniors. Speaking from my experiences as SHARE president, this is one of the worst weeks for sexual violence on campus. Due to the power differential that exists between upperclassmen and bickerees or sign-ins, new members are extremely vulnerable to the whims of upperclassmen club members. Part of the problem stems from confusion between compliance or cooperation and consent. If an individual complies with an activity at bicker or initiations, he or she may do so because of perceived coercion or fears the consequences of noncompliance (hosing or social rejection.) While it may seem ridiculous that individuals are afraid to say no, I have often heard the complaint that sophomores do not believe that their participation is optional. I have also heard individuals complain that club members threaten sophomores with hosing or hazing if they do not comply. For example, one sophomore told me that a senior threatened to "black ball" her from his club if she refused to sleep with him. Such a statement may sound like an urban legend. As SHARE president, I have to face the reality that these words were spoken. While I recognize that the majority of club members would never make such threats, until this year, few have taken an active role in preventing this behavior at their club.
Sexual assault is not limited to bicker, sign-ins and initiations; it is actually more likely to happen in the victim's dorm than in an eating club. Though this week tends to show an increase in sexual violence on our campus, the eating clubs are not to blame: the entire student body is at fault. Students must protect each other and stand up against what they know is morally inexcusable. Until the entire campus unites in an effort to end sexual violence, Princeton's campus will continue to be a safe haven for those few individuals who violently ruin bicker and sign-ins week.
There are several aspects to SHARE that can and must be improved in order to effectively end sexual violence on our campus. Primarily, I would like to see more men involved in the program. This year, "The Men's Program" formed under the guidance and leadership of Dante Ricci GS. The Men's Program is an all-male group designed to unite men to end sexual violence. Dante has spoken in numerous eating clubs with great success and is beginning to encourage more men to join. This trend must continue over the coming years in order to create a lasting change on our campus.
I would encourage every Princeton student to know and trust the resources available at SHARE — professionally trained counselors, who provide free services to students. All SHARE peers are required to sign confidentiality agreements in order to maintain membership in the group. Most students, however, do not know about these resources and thus do not utilize SHARE often enough. I would like to see SHARE work closer with the RCAs, student organizations and faculty on our campus. It is only through a strong collaboration that Princeton will finally see an end to this violence.
At Reunions last year, I met an alumna who was one of the first women to join an eating club. She told me that her initiations had the same sexual violence problems that we have today. While her comment was saddening, I remain optimistic that Princeton will change. I hope that when I come back for Reunions in 20 years, Princeton will no longer be plagued by sexual violence. Michelle Fox '07 is the president of SHARE. She is a molecular biology major and may be reached at mcfox@princeton.edu.
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