Hey oh, listen what I say, oh

I know it's pretty. I know it makes our campus look awfully beautiful. I know it provides millions of children with endless entertainment. I know it's the title to one of my favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers songs. Frosty would never have existed without it, and Santa probably wouldn't say ho-ho-ho without it. But I can't stand it. I hate shoveling it, I hate slipping in it and I hate getting hit with it. I, my friends, have a confession to make. I hate snow.

Before you look at me in horror with an "Oh no, you di'in't!" expression on your face, let's take a step back. It didn't always used to be like this. I must say, as a child, I used to like snow. After all, a child who hates snow is a child without a heart, and that's a scientific fact. Like any little kid, I used to run around in my snow pants, my pom pom-adorned winter hat and my super-thick winter coat. My friends and I spent our time making snow angels, building snowmen and engaging in lethal snowball fights. As middle school rolled around, tackle snow-football became the activity of choice. Snow was awesome.

The best part of snow in the precollege years, of course, was the potential of the coveted snow day. The snow day wait was an exciting, heart-wrenching experience. If the previous night's Weather Channel forecast suggested that there was even a miniscule chance of snow, every grade school kid in the Northeast woke up at 6 a.m. to wait for the blessed phone call alerting his parents that school had been canceled. Oh, the joy. Why can't we ever have a snow day here at Princeton? Apparently, there was one in 2003 — and it was the first in 10 years. It looks like we're gonna have to rely on our high school memories ... except for you Californians. Suckers!

So, why the change? Why do I hate snow? For one, I am not a winter sport enthusiast. As much as I love tennis, golf, swimming and everything summer, I have no interest in skiing or snowboarding. Well ... maybe I should say that I have had no success with either.

One year, I braved my inexperience and hopped on board with the Princeton-organized Killington trip. My one day of snowboarding resulted in about 40 bruises, one of which I think left a permanent indentation on my left bum cheek. That's not normal, is it? Let's just say I spent a large chunk of the rest of the trip in the lodge, sipping beer, watching Jeopardy reruns and making s'mores.

When I'm at home, snow means I wake up early and shovel the driveway. I don't like waking up early, and I definitely don't like shoveling the freaking driveway. Snow also means that the roads are icy, causing hundreds of fender benders each day. In high school, a buddy once had his car fish tail into the principal's station wagon. Thanks a lot, snow.

Even here on the Princeton campus, where cars are unnecessary, snow causes problems. A former roommate of mine slipped walking down the ramp near Frist, landed on his face and had to get a reconstructive nose job. Sure, Blair Arch looks gorgeous when it is covered in snow. Try telling that to the pre-frosh who wiped out on the stairs during the campus tour. He ain't coming to Princeton. Oh wait, that was Yale student, Jian Li. Nevermind, I forgot! We didn't let him in!

So, I realize that I may sound like Mr. Negative over here. Blame my hatred of snow on my Indian heritage if you want. My ancestors were too busy fighting Pakistan to go on ski trips. I suppose that's not PC. In any case, have fun spraining your ankles walking to class. I'm a senior, and as soon as I graduate, I'm moving to Hawaii. Neel Gehani is an ORFE major from Summit, N.J. He can be reached at ngehani@princeton.edu.