Note: Due to head injuries sustained during the NBA All-Star Weekend, today's weather column will not be seen. Filling in for the Weather Guy today will be his fifth-grade self in the form of "Operation: SunSpot," a '97-era short story written after watching a Discovery Channel "Wings" marathon. Weather Guy Productions apologizes for the inconvenience, expects a temporary return to cold, windy conditions this weekend with highs in the mid-30s and hopes the following taut political thriller renews the reader's healthy appreciation for the sun (and ellipses).
"Operation: SunSpot" by Ryan Truchelut, 5-Yellow
It was 7 a.m., and the sun was just peeking over the horizon at the U.S.S. Victory carrier in the Red Sea. Little did the bustling men preparing the VA-107 aircraft for the day's sorties know that this might be the last sunrise they ever saw...
The man spoke with a heavy Arabic accent. The hidden control bunker buzzed with preparation for the night's correctional maneuver. "The fate of the project depends on this maneuver." Silence. Then, "Yes, Saddam, nothing can stop us now..."
The satellite was in orbit, studying the composition of the sun, but when the next batch of data came back to NASA scientists, it was assumed to have a computer glitch. It registered large amounts of iron, titanium and even plutonium approaching the sun...
An urgent message was sent to the Victory direct from the head of the FBI and the President. Details were sketchy, but a large attack force was to attack an Iraqi control bunker before 8:30 p.m. The matter was of utmost urgency and was said to be of life or death importance. The supercarrier hummed and pulsed with the repair and equipment needed for the strike. At 6 p.m., the force of 10 F-14s, 15 F-18s, and 25 A-6Es, all fully armed, were ready to soar. But Iraq knew they were coming...
For years, Operation SunSpot had been Saddam Hussein's most closely guarded secret. Working underneath the desert dunes, technicians had developed a colossal rocket to launch the experimental warhead at the sun to end its — and our — life prematurely...
It was 8:08. The F-18s armed the AGM-65 Mavericks. They locked onto the control platform and... a swarm of MiG-29's shot straight up through the formation! A heroic F-18 shot down four with cannon fire, but this was a battle America would lose. Only seven aircraft made it back to the Victory. The control bunker was unharmed. Mankind would end tomarrow at 10:33 a.m...
The scientists at the Keck Solar Observatory said goodby to each other and then dolefully began watching the solar projection on the wall. The clock read 10:32:44 ... :51... suddenly, the huge arc of a solar prominence spread itself on the projection screen, then a bright flash, then... 30 seconds passed. Then another 30.
The Sun had made it! Just as the scientists were jumping for joy, Saddam Hussein was cursing under his breath. In the distance, he heard a low whistle, followed by another and another. The Americans were back, and this time, we wouldn't be stopped. THE END.
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