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Ask the Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,

How do you make a girl cum? I know a woman can have clitoral and vaginal orgasms, but what's the difference? I've also heard that women can have G-spot orgasms — is that the same as a vaginal orgasm?

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— Cumfused

Dear Cumfused,

Basically, as the name suggests, the difference lies in what is being stimulated — the clitoris or the vagina. Clitoral orgasms can be achieved by stimulating the clitoris — through sucking, using a vibrator, body pressure or rubbing. Just be forewarned that the sensitivity of the clitoris is different for each woman.

Though some women receive pleasure from direct contact with their glans (the end of the clitoris), other women might be so sensitive that direct contact is painful, even if lubrication is used. Also, don't overdo it; too much stimulation can make the clitoris painfully sensitive or even numb — not exactly what you want.

Vaginal orgasms are not always possible for all women, but for some, the outer third of their vagina is very sensitive, and when stimulated during intercourse or other forms of vaginal penetration, can cause an orgasm. The Grafenberg Spot, or G-Spot, is another matter. We're not actually sure if it exists or not, but it seems to be the consensus that if it does exist, not everyone has one.

Theoretically, the G-Spot is a bunch of nerve tissue that is located roughly two to three inches inside the vagina, behind the pubic bone. The spot is about the size of a quarter, although the exact size and location vary depending on the woman. You can find your partner's G-Spot by having her lie on her back and then inserting two fingers into her vaginal opening. If you press upward with your fingers against the wall of her vagina, you should find her Spot, if she has one. G-Spot orgasms may include a spurt of fluid, which is not urine, from the urethra.

The key to reaching successful orgasms is to communicate with your partner and to be attentive to her body signals. Muscle contractions, quickened breath, and the amount of moisture being produced are all good indicators of a partner who is well-pleased. If you're not sure how you're doing, just ask her!

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No matter how much experience you've had, every woman's body is different. She can help you find the right spot quickly and easily, and she can let you know what techniques work best for her.

— The Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,

How can I talk to a roommate about not sexiling me?

— Sexpatriate

Dear Sexpatriate,

Honesty and communication are imperative to a good roommate relationship. I suggest you sit down and have a serious talk with your roommate until you reach a compromise that is livable for both sides.

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Because I realize face-to-face confrontation is not as easy as it sounds, I solicited RCA advice to set you on the right track. Try asking your roommate to look for another place to take that lucky somebody: point out that a stroll across our very romantic campus could be quite charming.

But given that Princeton lacks those intimate motels used in seedy movies, your roommate might still request that you leave. So it's a good idea to have a Plan B.

While not ideal, there are places where you can get some work done when your roommate commandeers your space. The campus has an increasing number of 24-hour study spots, many of which have couches and are accessible by prox. A listing of these is online at the USG's website, http://www.princeton.edu/usg.

Ultimately, none of these possibilities are longterm solutions, and at some point you're still going to have to talk to your roommate. Instead of a formal, sit-down exchange, try something simple and less confrontational. Start out by casually mentioning that you need the room quiet tonight: your roommate might respect your frankness and respond well. Or, ask for advance warning from your roommate so you can make plans to sleep elsewhere. Try this kind of approach before you step up the tension: after all, if your roommate stops sexiling you but the general level of animosity in the room rises as a result, you won't have gained much.

If nothing else works, searching eBay yields an excellent selection of Chinese folding screens perfect for privacy on-demand (although unfortunately, they're not soundproof). Just a thought.

— The Sexpert

"Sexpert" is written by a team of peer sexual health advisors and fact-checked by University health professionals. You can submit questions, to be published anonymously every Thursday, to sexpert@dailyprincetonian.com. Don't be shy.