A lost brother

It's early morning as Miles Cava '07 churns out laps alongside his Princeton teammates in DeNunzio Pool. The breaststroker stops to catch his breath before pushing off the wall for another set. It's just practice, but in his mind he's racing — racing against his late friend, rival and roommate, Alan Ebersole.

As freshmen the two trash-talked across the lane, egging each other on to log a better time. As sophomores they shared a room, spending much of their time in each others' company.

Now, things are different. Cava touches the wall, exhausted, and checks the clock. It's an excellent time. "Thanks, Alan," he says, smiling to himself. "Thanks for swimming next to me on that one."

But Ebersole is gone, lost in an Oct. 29 swimming accident in the Atlantic Ocean. Ebersole — known to his friends as "Big Al" — was in Deerfield Beach, Fla., training with the men's and women's swimming and diving teams over fall break.

Today, Cava still feels his roommate matching him stroke for stroke in the water. More than once, he believes, Ebersole has pushed him to success.

"That's how I know Alan's still here," Cava said. "I know he hasn't left us."

Jarred by the loss, members of the swimming and diving teams have coped by relying on each other. Three months after their trip to Vicksburg, Miss., for the funeral, the teammates Ebersole called his "swimming brothers" have emerged from the tragedy closer than ever. They have added to their community another swimming family more than a thousand miles away — the Ebersoles.

A week after the tragedy, 60 members of the team attended Ebersole's funeral. The University paid for the sophomores and captains to attend, while many others, including team parents, went on their own. Family and friends of the Ebersoles opened their homes to the team.

In December, Ebersole's family came to campus for a memorial service held in the University chapel.

"[The funeral] was [Alan's family] showing us what Alan was to Vicksburg. We wanted to show them what Alan was to Princeton," Mike Ott '07 said.

After Alan's death, his family — parents Bruce and Story Ebersole and younger brothers Jase, 16, and Bern, 18 — attended the Princeton Invitational, which was dedicated to Alan's memory.

"[The swimmers] were Alan's life for the past year," said his mother, Story. "They miss him as much, if not more, than we do. We thought it would be good for us and also good for them to let them know that they made Alan happy."

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Continuing their support for the team, Story and Bruce flew from Mississippi on the weekend of Jan. 28 to attend the Harvard-Yale-Princeton meet in New Haven, Conn., where the centennial anniversary of Princeton swimming and diving was commemorated with orange towels that bore the name "Big Al."

"Having [the Ebersoles] there is such a comforting feeling," said Emily Weigand '07, a diver on the team. "They're so supportive of everything."

This season, friends said, the team is swimming for Ebersole. "Everyone wants to step it up and show how much he means for this team," said Ryan Darby '07, his other former roommate.

The men's team, defending conference champions, stand in second place in the league with a record of 8-1. In addition to their impressive early season showing at the Princeton Invitational, the team has defeated Pittsburgh, Kenyon, Rutgers and numerous Ivy foes.

Peter Wong '06 said that the team, especially in its first meet after Ebersole's death, attempted to live up to his high standards.

"He was such a determined, stubborn person that we kind of tried to fill those shoes," Wong said.

A state champion swimmer in high school, Ebersole wasn't the fastest on Princeton's squad. But his work ethic stood out in practice, where he would swim times approaching his lifetime bests.

"Alan's contributions to the team were just to give everyone else a sense of love while we were at the pool," Cava said.

The competitive Ebersole also had a goofy side, teammates said — and it is that fun-loving nature they miss most.

In the team's last practice before Ebersole's death, Ott remembers panting breathlessly after a hard 500-meter swim. As the other swimmers panted, Ebersole was talkative as usual, even after having put in as hard an effort as the rest.

Joking that he was going to switch from his customary breaststroke — an event in which he somehow managed to be fast despite poor technique — Ebersole had everyone laughing between precious breaths.

During the past year, Ebersole's outgoing personality shone in the time the sophomore swimmers spent relaxing together daily, from the dinners they shared in the dining hall to the hours they spent playing Halo.

"We could all sit there and listen to Alan for hours," Weigand said.

The ties ran deepest for two of those swimmers — Cava and Darby, Ebersole's sophomore year roommates in Butler College.

Sitting on the couch in their triple in 1915 Hall, Cava said Ebersole had shown him by example how to live life to its fullest.

Cava said he decided to switch to an A.B. program because watching Ebersole do what he enjoyed made him realize that "it's not important to be miserable with engineering." He'll spend this semester taking lots of classes to find out what he enjoys.

As the season draws to a close, Cava and the rest of the team continue to honor their friend's memory.

"We talk about Al and we remember him. His name comes up in conversation, but it's not something we dwell on excessively," head coach Rob Orr said. "We all have to move on, and that's the way Big Al would want it."