Advice for the morning after: Don't be aloof

Ahh. The bliss of waking up to discover a random body asleep in your bed next to you. But after the person staggers out of your room wearing your Camp Wamesit T-shirt and the remains of a Viking costume, what do you do?

Guys seem to take a reasonably direct approach to the second rendezvous. "How do I show a girl I want to hook up with her again? Take her out to dinner then bring her home and spend the next eight hours in bed [with her]," one junior boy only half-jokingly observes. Senior "Jerry" explains, "Guys are the eternal optimists" when it comes to hooking up. They are "willing to take risks . . . basically, I think the problem is that girls don't send clear signals. And guys, facing this ambiguity, are always going to assume they've got a chance."

Although it may frustrate guys, there's a reason girls don't send clear signals: guys have a funny tendency to literally run away from girls who openly pursue, and most girls know this and act accordingly. As junior "Joe" comments, "If a girl consistently calls or IMs or comes to your room after an initial hookup, which some tend to do, it's a turnoff for the guy if you aren't totally into the girl . . . if the girl is more standoffish, and doesn't do anything really gross or weird then she is probably in good position for another hookup." Apparently, though, guys aren't the only ones who get intimidated by too much contact too quickly. Sophomore Lucy says "overzealous pursuit" makes her much less eager for a second hookup. Jane thinks differently. She says, "Calling is definitely sweet, not scary. It's a dying practice that needs to be resurrected." Drunk booty calls don't count.

A girl can gauge whether a guy just wants to hook up (or if he's interested in something more) by "how much contact he initiates or how he acts during the hookup. He may just want to get some ass," Joe astutely observes. A chat somewhere besides the Street, when you're both sober, is a big tipoff that he or she likes you. Of course, more often than not, you don't necessarily want to pursue a date or even another hookup with the person. In such a case, one method of dealing with a second meeting that is popular with guys and girls alike is to ignore the person, as Joe suggests. This is not only juvenile and rude, but also silly because inevitably on such a small campus you'll see him or her again. If the person simply doesn't understand you're not interested, you should make up something face-saving and diplomatic, however untrue it may be. If they still don't get it, then, and only then, can you start ignoring.

Sometimes, it is simply impossible to ignore a hookup after the fact. Take the story told by senior Lillian about a girl who left a guy's room in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, wrapped only in a blanket. Then she couldn't remember which one was his room, so she walked all the way back to her own dorm in only the blanket, leaving all her clothes in his room. There is also the girl who woke in the morning to find all of her hookup's clothes on the floor — shirt, pants, shoes and wallet — but no boy. Still drunk, he had returned to his room in nothing but his boxers and gone to sleep there.

If a random hookup leaves something behind in your room, how do you deal with it? One of my junior girlfriends says she emails the guy and offers to drop his lost possession by on her way to the library, gym, etc. This tactic doesn't require meeting the person—she just puts the item in a bag with his name on the outside and hangs it on his doorknob. Another friend casually mentioned to a guy that she had his hat if he wanted it. He acted distant and vague, so she kept the hat, which she now wears frequently.

Do not let the issue of getting your clothing back prevent you from lending them, though, especially if your hookup is wearing theme or formals attire. Be friendly, don't ignore, and lend clothes. It can be fun to sleep with a Viking once you get used to the horns.