Advice after looking back on frosh year

I sit at my desk and stare at the list of things I need to complete today. It seems endless. Three major assignments are due tomorrow and one hundred pages in my freshman seminar packet sit on my desk unread.

Basketball practice starts in an hour. Sweat beads begin to form on my forehead; my muscles tense and I start to fidget nervously. A torrent of thoughts floods my mind. When will I have time to do my problem set for economics? Will I have time to eat dinner between practice and class?

Everyone said that college was the best time of their life. But then why am I having such an awful time? Everything is so different here. I feel totally out of place.

Welcome to freshman year at Princeton. Although some of you may have already adjusted to your new life here, some of you are finding the transition from high school to college difficult — maybe even next to impossible. I know — I've been there! I wrote the above paragraph in a paper about three months into my first year at Princeton. Maybe my story can help you.

On Tuesday night the week after Fall Break I needed to complete two papers that were due the next day. I had been busy the entire break with basketball practice, team events and a too short (two day) trip home. Predictably I did not get much schoolwork done. One paper I hadn't even started and one I had to rewrite completely. I also had a full day of classes and practice that would fill my time until after 9 p.m. the next day. By midnight my mind would not focus on anything other than how much work I had to do.

Again I began to sweat and fidget.

I called home in tears pleading for help. As I talked to my dad I began to calm down and the panic slowly waned. I took a deep breath and began to type. For three hours the material flowed. I slept four hours, woke up the next morning and got back to work. The finished papers were not perfect but they were good enough. Looking back, I realize I enjoyed a couple hours of adrenaline rush as I triumphed over the crisis. But, the following day tested my endurance and it took a week to overcome the sleep deficit.

Princeton is a world of exciting possibilities but the challenges can be daunting as well. Many people have a rough time adapting to college life. Even Senator Bill Frist '74, a fellow Princetonian who is now one of the most powerful men in the country, recalls suffering through a lonely, miserable first year here. For me, my own high expectations increased the already enormous pressure of just keeping up with my class work, let alone sports practice.

My first term nearly overwhelmed me. Every day I thought about things at home: my family, my room, my cat, the simple life . . . Most of the time I wished I were home, but I probably wouldn't have been happy anywhere. Even then, I knew if I left Princeton I would always wonder if I had tried hard enough.

At the time I thought I was the only one going through such tumultuous stress and homesickness, but now I know it is not an uncommon occurrence at Princeton and on college campuses everywhere. Some days I felt as if I were being rolled by an avalanche, but it became a little easier after I learned that I was not alone in my struggles.

We can't avoid feeling stressed some of the time so we just have to find a way to get back in control. To start with, never leave a paper for the last minute, especially not two papers. But if you do, try to find a way to calm down and then take it one step at a time. For me, "one step at a time" was the big secret.

When I looked at my whole to-do list, I always felt overwhelmed. I had to learn to focus on one thing at a time. Now, I try to take things as they come and focus on the task at hand.

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I'm still here because I took control of my own life by changing those things (in my power to change) that were over-stressing me.

First, I recognized that I wasn't getting enough sleep because of a noisy rooming situation. I didn't know it then, but changing rooms is a long, involved process here. I had to work steadily to solve that problem. It took until the end of the term before I was finally able to switch rooms. Getting enough sleep definitely helped relieve stress.

Second, I realized that basketball was seriously interfering with my studies.

When I asked a senior player how she coped, she told me, "It's hard to flunk out of Princeton." I didn't come here to just "not flunk out," I came here to do well. Even though basketball had always been a central feature of my life, I quit. I still miss playing and being a part of the team but it turned out to be a good decision.

Third, I used the resources at the University Health Services. In addition to medical help, they also have a great counseling center.

If you find yourself feeling stressed, there are many resources on our campus to make things easier — your academic advisor, your resident advisor and the professional counselors and doctors at the University Health Services.

Don't be afraid to use these resources to make your stay at Princeton more pleasant. There is hope after all — I'm still here and I am having a great second year!