Can't win them all: Princeton fails to top important ranking

Colleges can be rated based on a number of factors. For example, student body size, location, studentto-professor ratio and average SAT scores may be key when comparing such institutions.

But it is doubtful whether anyone has ever rated a campus based on its squirrel population. Anyone, that is, except Jonathan Gottshall, a squirrel-loving Californian.

Gottshall recently created a page on his website, www.gottshall.com /squirrels/campsq.htm, that ranks 12 California campuses as well as 29 other universities on their furry nut-munching creatures.

The ratings — which are based on submissions by observant college students and employees — include comments on the size of the squirrel population on campus as well as their behavior and appearance.

As with any serious college ranking, Princeton is featured on this list. Much to some Tigers' dismay, however, Princeton failed to top Gottschall's ratings. With a score of two out of a possible three squirrels, Princeton fell just short of the coveted prize.

Who is to blame? The field reporter — who goes by "'Scrappyo" — responsible for the rating accused no one, but wrote of Princeton's squirrels, "Most of them aren't as friendly as Penn States' squirrels, but they are EVERYWHERE and most of them will beg, especially when the University is on break and there are fewer potential feeders.

"P.U. sports a sizable population of black squirrels. Some of the older vets by the Art Museum will crawl on you for handouts," Scrappyo continued.

While Princeton's two-squirrel rating is nothing to complain about, Mary Baldwin College in Staunton, Virginia, was the highest rated squirrel-friendly campus outside of California, boasting a rating of "three squirrels PLUS!" The college with the lowest rating overall was California State University in Fullerton, California. C.S.U.F. obtained a shameful negative half-squirrel because, according to a field reporter, students "poisoned them all."

Though it may not have been number one on Gottshall's ranking, Princeton should be proud of its squirrel population. Evidently, at least one University employee is. A staff member named Susan wrote on the website, "Glad to see that you made a note of the black (grey) squirrels for which we are very proud.

"'I feed at least nine from my window ledge in the Physics Building,'' Susan noted.