Double take: Shapiro to succeed Shapiro

McGill University president Bernard Shapiro will succeed President Shapiro as the University's 19th president, board of trustees president Robert Rawson '66 announced at a press conference yesterday.

"In this time of change at the University, we on the presidential search committee opted for more of the same," Rawson said. Bernard and Hal are identical twin brothers.

When asked how it felt to follow in his twin brother's footsteps, Bernard said, "It's only natural. He was born first."

Hal, on the other hand, seemed less than pleased with the announcement.

"Ever since I joined the Cub Scouts back in fourth grade, he's been copying me," Hal said, kicking his brother under the table. "It just figures he would go after my job, too."

Shoving his brother out from behind the podium, the second Shapiro insisted he will imbue his administration with a unique agenda.

In a clear move to distinguish himself from his brother, Bernard said he plans to hold office hours from 8:30 to 9:30 p.m.

In other new initiatives, Bernard said he hopes to change the A* grading designation to Eh*, and to make Molson the official beer of the 'Street.'

And the new Shapiro assured the University community yesterday that these moves are just the beginning. "I'm prepared to tackle all aspects of this job, from A to Zed," he said.

Lisa Lazarus '02, one of two undergraduate representatives on the committee, also said she was pleased with the decision.

"As soon as [USG president PJ Kim '01] gave Bernard the nod, I said 'Let's go for it,' " Lazarus noted.

Eufegenia Shapiro, who is Hal and Bernard's mother, said she is "just tickled" to have both her sons on the same campus.

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"I just hope [Vice President and Secretary] Tom Wright ['62] can remember that Bernard likes his sandwiches with the crusts on," she said.

In an example of continuity between the two administrations, Special Assistant to the President Ann Halliday GS '78 will head Bernard's transition team and help ease his move into One Nassau Hall.

"Bernard's going to have to decide if he wants the McCosh desk or the Witherspoon desk," she said matter-of-factly.

But, if yesterday's press conference was any indication, the Shapiro-to-Shapiro changeover may not be quite so straightforward.

Trying to praise the outgoing Shapiro's legacy, Dean of the Wilson School Michael Rothschild had trouble telling the two men apart.

"We'll never forget your contributions to the University," Rothschild said, looking at Bernard. "All those benjamins will buy some phat [stuff]," he added.

Perceiving Rothschild's mistake, the former Shapiro stomped his feet and pounded his fists on the table. "I'm Hal. He's Bernard," the president whined.

"See, I've replaced you already," Bernard jibed. "Que sera sera."

University trustee Steve Forbes '70 also betrayed his preference for the new Shapiro yesterday.

"Now that Bernard's going to be in the driver's seat, maybe I'll start forking over some of the family's cash again," Forbes speculated, patting the president-designate on the head fondly.

"After all, Bernard likes Japanese porcelain, not controversial bioethicists."

For her part, economics professor Elizabeth Bogan said the Shapiro brothers are likely to be in high demand for a long time to come.

"They're the hottest twins since Mary Kate and Ashley," she said.