I would like to share a letter that I recently wrote to Jacqueline Deitch-Stackhouse, the director of the University’s Sexual Harassment/Assault Advising, Resources and Education (SHARE) office, regarding “The Way You Move,” a freshman orientation core event. I would be very interested in students’ opinions and responses.
Dear Ms. Deitch-Stackhouse,
I hope you will pardon some (hopefully constructive) feedback on “The Way You Move.” I sat in on a 12:45performance and discussion.
Please bear with me for a few words of explanation regarding why I am interested. I’m an alumnus and the parent of an alumnus. More pertinently, I’m a retired physician, having trained in pediatrics and adolescent medicine, and I worked for almost two decades at University Health Services. During most of that time, I was the medical director of the sexual health unit, which back then was referred to as SECH (Sexuality Education Counseling and Health). During my time at Health Services I was very active in health education activities regarding sexuality and sexual health, and I worked closely with our health educator and counseling center, as well as with SHARE. I have provided contraceptive counseling and prescriptions to hundreds of Princeton students, both undergraduate and graduate.
I bring all this up to stress that I was, and remain, very supportive of allowing young adults to make their own decisions regarding their sexual behavior and of providing whatever contraception and other health care they request to meet their individual needs. I have no moral or other motivation to push abstinence over informed sexual activity (with consent and appropriate contraception and protection against STDs). I am very concerned, like you, with the importance of consent and of making thoughtful and educated choices.
As you no doubt are aware, some faculty and alumni feel that the University’s approach encourages casual sexual activity by events such as “The Way You Move,” and its predecessor, “Sex on aSaturdayNight.” As a local alumnus with experience in this area, I have been occasionally active in defending the University’s sexual health and relationship education efforts in discussions with other alumni.For example, I have had an active and ongoing discussion with a prominent conservative faculty member, and I have at times spoken out at events of the Anscombe Society, as well as in occasional letters in the Princeton Alumni Weekly.
Apart from general interest, it was to gain evidence with which to argue for continuing the University’s efforts that I attended “The Way You Move.”
The performance was outstanding — the writing, acting and directing were superb, and the message of the unacceptability of sexual harassment, intimidation and violence and the importance of positive consent were conveyed in a powerful and effective manner.
However, I was astonished to find myself agreeing with at least some of the arguments of the critics. The strong impression left by the play was essentially that all students are, or at least want to be, sexually active and aren’t too concerned about the identity of their sexual partner or about how well they know them. Absolutely no indication was provided that it might be socially acceptable for a student to wish to remain abstinent for the time being, or that waiting to get to know someone well before physical intimacy might be a reasonable idea. Had I seen this as the sexually inexperienced freshman I was, I would have concluded that I was an outlier who was missing out on the fun that everyone else was having, and my already shaky self-esteem at that time would have taken a significant hit.
This is not to mention the failure to emphasize the importance of knowledgeably considering contraception and prevention of disease, preferably before engaging in intercourse. And the blithe acceptance, if not encouragement, of drinking to excess was also disturbing.
I urge you to consider a rewrite for future productions, to portray abstinence as a valid and socially respectable choice, to include contraception and STDs in the discussion and to highlight the importance of drinking in moderation. If I remember correctly, all of these were essential parts of “Sex on aSaturdayNight.”
I apologize for being so long-winded, but I feel strongly about all this and I wanted to express myself fully.
Should you have the time and inclination, I would certainly appreciate hearing your thoughts in response.
Sincerely,
Brian Zack ’72, M.D.
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