Opinion

I want to eat you

Yes, while you all were busy rehashing the definition of a hookup and explaining to each other what DFMO stands for, I was busy scavenging this campus for brains. I figured this would be the place to look, since this is a campus full of quality brains. But my journey has not been easy. Allow me to explain.

Cartoon: Abecedario

PETA

Animal mistreatment is a very bad thing. There are few people out there in this world who would openly claim to be in favor of torturing animals. But the thing is, PETA isn’t synonymous with animal rights. I would make the argument that PETA is more synonymous with “band of crazed lunatics” or “Psychos Eviscerating Truth Again” than anything else.

Selecting a president for Princeton

On Sept. 9, 2012, University President Shirley Tilghman greeted 1,357 new freshmen at the opening exercises. Tilghman glibly entitled her talk “Occupying Princeton” and admitted she co-opted the phrase from the Occupy movement. Tilghman informed the freshmen their “admission to Princeton is a privilege” and also proclaimed they had “become part of the 1 percent.” She included the usual empty rhetoric concerning “making the world a better place” and “Princeton in the nation’s service and the service of all nations.”

Man vs. machine

I rarely find staffing decisions to be of any interest, but this one breaks the mold for me. UBS intends to fill his vacancy with a computer. In doing so, they will join Goldman Sachs, Credit Suisse and Barclays in using highly developed software programs in lieu of highly fallible, and expensive, human traders.

Why I love political comedy

Stewart and Colbert, through banter and parody, lay bear the typical ridiculousness and gaffes of American politics. But what took me a while to realize, perhaps because I didn’t want to become so disillusioned so early in life, is that in their banter and parodies were larger truths about our politicians.

Rapunzel at Tower Club

Hold the judgment

The Petraeus affair is just the latest example of a current event we don’t know much about, yet many of us have already formed our opinions on various aspects of the story and related political issues. Instead, we should take a step back and wait for news stories to unfold further before passing judgment.

Cartoon: Ready, aim, fire!

The President's speech

I am normally an optimistic person, but when I left the voting booth last week, I felt frustrated and cynical. The presidential campaign had been particularly divisive. Granted, I’m only 21, so not only is my experience limited, but this was also the first presidential election in which I was both old enough to vote and, after three years of college spent away from home, divided from parents and some close friends and family on a variety of issues. Nonetheless, I found several scenes we witnessed throughout this campaign especially disturbing.

Stumbling on social issues

To Canadians and many around the world, the American election is one of America’s greatest entertainment exports. Mitt Romney’s binders, Sarah Palin’s ignorance and Joe Biden’s foul mouth are great comedy. The tragedy is that these people are successfully vying to be the most powerful people in the world. It’s a tragi-comedic epic.

On eating clubs

Whenever I come home from Princeton on a break, I get the same barrage of questions that I’m sure all college students face — about classes, friends, extracurriculars. But the question that I get most often — both from adult relatives and friends at other colleges — is more specific to Princeton. “Have you joined an eating club yet?” “What even are they, anyway?” “Is that like a special club for people who like eating?”

Editorial: Drawbacks of dual-club bicker

This past week, the Interclub Council (ICC) has announced a plan to implement a new bicker system for all the clubs. According to the ICC, the proposal has three goals: to increase the accessibility of the Street to underclassmen, to synchronize the notification system of Bicker and to introduce a dual-club Bicker system that would allow students to bicker up to two clubs in one bicker season. Though we do not find fault with the first two goals, we do have concerns with the third, the dual-club Bicker system.

The worst idea ever

I don’t care if you call it “getting hosed” or “getting your third choice,” the reality is the same: Students will be denied membership into the selective clubs.

Cartoon: Alternative campus transportation

Identity, conformity and tolerance

It was my slightly Americanized accent. After seven months in New Jersey, my voice had changed. My English friends could hear it and thought it was hilarious. I had no idea. And I was a little worried. I didn’t want to change.

I am what I wear

Thankfully, our campus doesn’t contain or produce many individuals who feel entitled to criticize strangers’ outfits. Such criticism is generally recognized as antisocial behavior. On the other hand, students don’t always have the same sensitivity when it comes to their friends’ clothes.

Cartoon: Reelection

Letter to the Editor: Nov. 9, 2012

I write to solicit nominations for the Pyne Prize, the highest general distinction the University confers upon an undergraduate, which will be awarded on Alumni Day, Saturday, Feb. 23, 2013.

Dysfunctional family

A five-hour flight can be unbearably long, especially with overly reclined backseats and a honeymooning couple that was determined to transform a fairly grimy experience into romantic wayfaring.