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Editors' note

Since publishing Wednesday's joke issue, we have learned that some of our readers were offended by a column satirizing Asian stereotypes. The response surprised us: We did not seek to offend, and we sincerely regret having upset some of our readers.Many criticisms of the column, however, do not recognize its purpose.

Community gathers to mark King's legacy

Richardson Auditorium rang with the voices of students, faculty and community members Monday during the University's 16th-annual Martin Luther King Day celebration.

Did he make the grade?

If there was anything that outgoing USG president Alex Lenahan '07 made abundantly clear during his tenure, it was his penchant for communicating with fellow students.After winning the presidency by a large margin in a runoff vote in December 2005, Lenahan immediately issued an e-mail to the student body, outlining his goals for the year and promising a term characterized by dialogue and direct, concrete responses to undergraduates' needs and concerns.Ever since he took that telling first step, students have gradually become accustomed to Lenahan's lengthy e-mail missives on grade deflation and the four-year residential colleges.

Seminars receive mixed marks

When Princeton's freshman seminar program was first formed two decades ago, professors hoped it would quell what they saw as a rising tide of anti-intellectualism and bring students and faculty closer together."Students didn't seem to engage very much intellectually, even though they also had precepts," history professor and program founder Anthony Grafton said in an e-mail.

Joke op-ed sparks ire, controversy

Student groups and bloggers forcefully criticized The Daily Princetonian for a column published in the paper on Wednesday, which they claim expressed anti-Asian bigotry.Part of the 'Prince's' annual joke issue, the column was written in broken English and drew on several stereotypes about Asians.

Malkiel to cap Iraqi insurgents at 35 percent

Reacting to criticism from both Republicans and Democrats on his "New Way Forward in Iraq," President Bush has called on senior University officials to design a new strategy for the troubled nation.Bush has tapped Wilson School dean Anne-Marie Slaughter '80, President Tilghman and Dean of the College Nancy Malkiel to assist Petraeus in implementing his new initiative, codenamed "Under Allah she flourishes."Malkiel expressed confidence in the new operation, which she hopes will cap casualties at 35 percent of current levels."We believe that once Iraq implements the policy, peer nations like Syria, Lebanon and Iran will follow suit," Malkel argued.Firing back, former USG President Alex Lenahan posted a 40,000-word letter on Al-Jazeera's website arguing that today's insurgents were smarter than their predecessors and should not be penalized."U.S.

Harry Potter actor Radcliffe to join Class of 2011

Thought Princeton was a magical place? At least one young wizard agrees.Daniel Radcliffe, the 17-year-old British actor who gained worldwide fame for his wide-eyed portrayal of boy-wizard Harry Potter, will join the University next year as the most renowned member of the Class of 2011.Rumors have swirled for month that Radcliffe, who will graduate this June from the City of London School, was considering Princeton.

Anscombe takes off chastity belts — and everything else

This article is a part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.In the unforgiving light of Holder Hall, students crouched in the hallway and quickly stuffed their clothes into plastic grocery bags.

Summers: Women give birth better

This article is a part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.Former Harvard president Larry Summers, whose remarks that women may lack "intrinsic aptitude" in science helped spur his resignation last year, is again on the defensive after another controversial statement.The contention revolves around a speech Summers gave this week to the Organization for Surgery, Health, Infection and Treatment, in which he suggested that women may be "intrinsically better" than men at giving birth."So my best guess, to provoke you, of what's behind all of this is ... the general clash between people's legitimate family desires [and the facts of anatomy]," Summers said, referring to higher rates of motherhood among women."There are issues of intrinsic aptitude ... I would like nothing better than to be proved wrong, because I would like nothing better than for these problems to be addressable simply by everybody understanding what they are, and working very hard to address them."Many of Summers' peers in academia blasted his comments."As a former dean of a medical school, I was appalled at his lack of wisdom," molecular biology professor Leon Rosenberg said.

Crime around campus

This article is a part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. Butler College, Jan.

Frist: Schiavo is 'mostly dead'

This article is a part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.Former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist '74 at a speech in Nashville on Tuesday said that he still expects Terri Schiavo, the Florida woman who died in 2005 after spending 15 years in a persistent vegetative state, to make a full and complete recovery."I've had the opportunity to look at the autopsy photos of Ms. Schiavo and to my standpoint as a physician, and I would be very careful before I would come forward to say this, she does not appear to be deceased," the former heart surgeon said.Frist's decision to return to the Schiavo case has led some to speculate that the former senator is attempting to revive his moribund political career.

News & Notes

This article is a part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. USG to pass squirrelburning amendmentThe Undergraduate Student Government is poised to adopt an amendment that would decriminalize squirrel-burning."We really don't have many good ways to release our rage," USG president Rob Biederman '08 said.

George caught with gay hooker

This article is a part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.The campus was shocked to learn yesterday that politics professor Robert George, an outspoken conservative and critic of same-sex marriage, will resign his post following allegations that he purchased methamphetamines and sexual favors from a male prostitute."Forgive me, Shirley, for I have sinned," George said in a letter to President Tilghman, a copy of which was made available to The Daily Princetonian.

At jet lab, alumnus has eye on Mars

Jim Graf '72 has put Mars under surveillance.Graf, a director at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL), a subsidiary of NASA located at Caltech, prepared a camera that reached orbit around Mars in 2005 and is still beaming back photos.

In knead of a break

Mag blasts new alcohol policy

While most students probably don't keep a copy of "Rights, Rules, Responsibilities" by their bedside table, a few recent changes to the University's alcohol policies have not gone unnoticed.As part of its October/November issue, Tiger Magazine started a petition against a new rule forbidding students to serve alcohol to another person ? "regardless of his or her age" ? without first receiving consent from the Office of the Dean of Undergraduate Students.

Schafer wins $1.5 million award

Religion professor Peter Schafer is one of four recipients of the Andrew Mellon Foundation's Distinguished Achievement Award, a three-year, $1.5 million prize that honors scholars who have made significant contributions to humanistic inquiry.Schafer, a renowned scholar of Judaic studies, is the fifth University professor to win the prestigious honor in six years.Until he received the award, Schafer was not aware he had even been nominated."I got a letter from FedEx in the mail one day," Schafer recalled in an interview.

Redheads let hair down for BBC film

"I think the last time I was in a room with this many redheads was with my family," ginger-haired Irish comedian Owen O'Neill told the Princeton Redheads Society yesterday.

Grad alum now leads Bangladesh

Princeton-trained economist Fakhruddin Ahmed GS '75 was appointed Friday to lead Bangladesh's interim government, a move by the country's president to stem a turbulent political crisis.Ahmed, a former governor of the country's central bank who received his Ph.D.

What's sacred? A photography exhibition

The photographs shown here are a collection of artistic responses by the University community to the question: What is sacred?