Finding a new ‘Big Four’ as a Princeton freshman

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: you’re a Princeton first-year, you arrived on campus just about two months ago, and you’ve met hundreds of people. Every time you meet someone new, you use the same “Big Four” questions: What’s your name? Where are you from? What res college are you in? And what’s your major?

The summer before college, I requested a quad on the freshman housing form, hoping to start off with a group of three other people coming into this unfamiliar environment. Instead, I was given a single. While I’m not complaining about my 150-square-foot room, personal space, or prime location near the bathrooms, I did have to make a conscious effort to go out in the mornings and not return until night, just to interact with people. As a result, I have become an expert in the art of the opening question. Building friendships at college has been hard — partly because I just left behind friendships I had been cultivating for years — and the “Big Four” exacerbate my struggle.

Don’t get me wrong, those questions have their place (the Ice Cream Social, for example), but they’re awful at developing the kinds of connections I miss. These questions so often fall short because they boil our personalities down to basic facts about ourselves — three we don’t choose, and one that simply summarizes our academic interests. There must be so much more to the people I meet than “ORFE” or “SPIA.” As we reach the semester’s midpoint, I want to propose a new set of “Big Four” questions that help us share our personalities, avoid superficial answers, and invite conversation about our multifaceted personalities without dumbing us down to the words that will be on our diplomas.

What is your Letterboxd four? 

If you’ve seen celebrities answer questions on the red carpet in the past few years, odds are they answered the question, “What is your Letterboxd top four?” Letterboxd is a popular app where you track watched movies, rank them, leave reviews, and share your movie journal with friends and followers. On your profile, you are prompted to list your four favorite movies that others see on your account. 

This question starts with a fun topic — movies — and then asks which ones best represent you. I’ll show you how it works with my answer. My Letterboxd top four are: “The Princess Bride,” “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,” “Django Unchained,” and “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” The first three films represent my love of a good time: comedy, romance, superheroes, adventure, and cinematic action. The last film emphasizes my emotional side, demonstrating my interest in dramatic movies with meaningful themes. 

In line at Charter a couple of weeks ago, I asked the two guys in front of me this question; we spent the entire half-hour wait talking about movies! I learned one of them is a huge fan of “Interstellar” and Christopher Nolan, and the other had really enjoyed watching “Superbad” at the Garden Theater the weekend before. You can tell so much about a person and their personality from their Letterboxd top four and, crucially, their answer to the natural follow-up question: Why?

What song did you write about for your application? 

If film isn’t your thing, this question feels like the perfect icebreaker. I know the term “icebreaker” may feel triggering after doing so many during orientation, but this really does get the conversation going. Everyone has an answer to this question, so there won’t be awkward silence to think. It’s also a great question because people make their choice for so many different reasons: they chose a song or artist they like; the lyrics speak to them; or even that it would please an admissions officer. 

I chose “Atlas” by The Dip for a mix of those reasons. The Dip blends improvisational jazz, R&B/Soul, and funk, which results in a sound that just makes you want to tap your foot and sing. I chose “Atlas” specifically because of the lyric, “don’t put the world on your shoulders / Cause you know it ain’t your load to bear.” It spoke to me as I balanced college apps, high school classes, and evolving relationships. 

While on my Outdoor Action trip, music was one of the common pleasures the groups at my basecamp shared, so our application songs came up. One person chose a song by my favorite artist, Noah Kahan. Another wrote about “American Pie,” which I used to rock out to when I was little. Someone else’s was from a genre I’d never thought to listen to, inspiring me to explore the world of house music. We can connect so much faster through our shared tastes in music.

What book do you think everyone should be required to read at least once?

Being at school means being forced to read hundreds of pages of scholarly work each week, but asking someone what everyone needs to read leads to incredibly interesting discussion. 

If you were to ask me, I’d give you two possible answers. The first is “Percy Jackson and the Olympians” by Rick Riordan. You may not be required to read this series in class, but the adventure, humor, and mythological foundation open up the reader’s mind to the many possibilities of literature — and usually at a young age. Alternatively, I’d offer “The Cicero Trilogy” by Robert Harris. This series tracks the life of Roman senator Marcus Cicero and the fall of the Republic as told by his secretary and confidant, Tiro. This book is a fascinating exploration of power, friendship, and morality, bundled into an exhilarating, page-turning political thriller. 

While I haven’t tried this question out, I have talked to many people about their favorite books. You might discover their academic interests, but you may also find insights into the kinds of stories and tropes that grab their attention.

What is something that you haven’t shared about yourself since getting here?

This final question is actually one that was recently used on me. I was introduced to another freshman at a party. We commiserated over our shared fatigue with the “Big Four.” And, then he pulled out this question. I told him that I used to fence in high school. Though I never did it competitively, I enjoyed the physical exercise, chess-like strategy, and people I met through it. It was nice to share more about a big presence in my high school life and feel like the person I was talking to genuinely wanted to hear about it. And potentially even cooler, it led me to another freshman at the party who’s on the varsity fencing team. We asked him the same question and talked for around 25 minutes about our random niches. Other first-year friends nearby began joining the conversation. It became a circle of sharing and discovering. In that whole time we were talking, majors didn’t come up once. 

Leaving behind strong high school bonds and forging new ones is challenging. Yet the basic introductions we have grown accustomed to only serve to make conversations predictable. Asking questions about our personalities breaks through the initial layer of introductions and builds connections. Now that I have tried using the new “Big Four” here at Princeton, I’ve been excited to meet new people. I am no longer unsure of what to talk about once I get through the old “Big Four” because these new questions generate further exploration. Our niches tell others so much more about us than we can possibly imagine.

Marcus Schwartz is a member of the Class of 2030 and a contributing writer for The Prospect. 

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