The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
As waves of sophomores visit eating clubs during this year’s Street Week, one club is testing sophomores’ dedication. This past Sunday, Charter Club hosted a body art event where sophomores could get permanent tattoos with either the Charter insignia or a heart with the club’s name as a way for sophomores to earn points for the selective sign-in process. Placement options were limited to a tramp stamp, the shin, or an inner lip tattoo. More points were awarded for the lip tattoo, due to the increased pain involved.
One of Charter's tattoo options for prospective sophomores.
Caroline Rasmussen / The Daily Princetonian
“We knew this year would have to be different. We couldn’t just have cutesy little events — prospective members need to show some serious commitment to the club if they want to get in,” Charter President Greg Marmalard ’25 said.
Although a professional tattoo artist was hired, the line was so long that the members of Charter with the most drawing experience started inking up the sophomores as well. The Daily PrintsAnything spoke to one of the Charter artists about the event, who shared that his P in VIS202 prepared him well to step in.
“I have a maroon, horseshoe tattoo on my ass,” lamented Charlotte Charlington ’26, who limped away.
“I can’t wait to tell my mom and dad,” said Charlie Charleston ’26, who was conceived in Charter’s first-floor bathroom during the ‘CEOs and Office Hoes’ party of ’03.
Some sophomores misunderstood the purpose of the event. “I didn’t know it had to be a Charter-themed tattoo, but, by the time I got to the front of the line, I couldn’t back out. I just have to join Charter now,” said Chase Chapman ’26.
“We’re still gonna have to hose most of these hoes [laughs],” explained the Charter president when asked to comment. “In the future, we’ll have to think about more serious commitments to weed out sophomores. Maybe we’ll just make it more expensive.”
Caroline Rasmussen is a member of the Class of 2026. She may, or may not, want to sign-in to Charter.
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