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TigerHub celebrates 150th anniversary

<h5>James McCosh, the 11th President of Princeton University</h5>
<h6>Courtesy of <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:James_McCosh_seated.png"><u>Wikimedia Commons</u></a></h6>
James McCosh, the 11th President of Princeton University
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional. 

The University’s course enrollment system, TigerHub, celebrated its 150th anniversary this year. 

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TigerHub was launched in 1872 on the orders of the University’s 11th president, James McCosh. It has not been updated since.

At the time of TigerHub’s founding, students originally had no say in the courses they took at Princeton. Undergraduates followed a set curriculum that included courses like Predictive Eschatology, Marital Discipline, and Math for Masculine Men. These courses were discontinued in 1873, 1920, and 2018, respectively. 

Students could only access TigerHub on a first-generation Lenovo ThinkPad laptop computer, first released in 1868. The University only had one computer to be shared between the students and faculty, and registration to use the computer was only available online.

In 1888, McCosh was succeeded by Francis Landey Patton. Patton spent most his tenure in his office playing online poker and reading murder mystery novels, until the funding for updating TigerHub was spent. Princeton students still use the system to this day.

Sam McComb is a contributing humor writer. He has been waiting for TigerHub to load since September.

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